Movies 2011

It was a pretty good year for movies, less so for films.

If you've missed my treatise on movies vs. films, you can educate yourself by reading the first few paragraphs here.

Also keep in mind, when I was in my 20's I pretty much saw every movie that came out every year.  Now in my 40's I see hardly any by comparison.

I'm going to do it a little different this year, because none of the movies that made my top ten are best picture nominees, but the ones I did see I liked.  I'll start with them first.

Here are the Oscar nominees for best picture that I've seen this year and my thoughts on each:

The Artist  

An interesting and truly nostalgic look at the movies with a melodramatic story about the passage of time and the passing on of a legend.  I liked it very much.  I do not think it deserves to win best picture, which naturally makes it a lock.

It was shot amazingly - the cinematography and style of shooting are authentic 1930's, and also to some extent the 1920's.  As a movie nut, I could appreciate what the director and DOP were trying to do - and they largely succeeded.

Speaking of movie nuts - 

Hugo

I had very low expectations for this, from my movie business friends, (a writer, a film mixer, and several editors) who said it was slow (the writer said it was "ponderous") but because I didn't think it would be good - I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.

The story of the boy and the girl works very well, as does the station cop and his love interest arc.  Less so, the Ben Kingsley character, who is based on real life film pioneer Georges Melies.

Unlike the Artist, which connects emotionally by showing and not telling us old school movie magic, Scorcese fails to convey to those of us who aren't film nuts, what was so special about this guy and his art.  The flashback scenes at his studio are simply flat and magic-less.

Still, overall, the movie does work; though the glacial pacing does rub my modern movie watching sensibilities the wrong way at times, the little boy and girl are so good in their roles that there is enough resonance and hope to keep me engaged.

Moneyball

This movie has great moments and great acting, but loses it's footing a bit in the last act when it veers away from actual baseball footage and shows actors playing the game.

But don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed Moneyball and want very much to see it again.  It felt more than any other sports movie, that we were truly "inside baseball" - especially fantastic and an all time highlight for me was the first scene with Billy and all the scouts.  They nailed the essence of the sport, and the conflict between new and old, with those great character actors and Brad Pitt.  Simply awesome.

War Horse

I don't get the hate for this movie among film geeks.  I enjoyed it very much - as it was (as is The Artist and Hugo) very much an old fashioned movie.

This was not Private Ryan or Schindler's list, a realistic depiction of the horrors of war - rather it was a David Lean style movie - touching on themes of loss and redemption.  The music was at times overbearing, and yes, Spielberg tried a little too hard to get me to cry - but hey, I'm older now and so I cry pretty easy.  It had some great stand out scenes that I know I'll want to revisit.

And that's it.  I still want to see "The Help", "Tree of Life" and the Tom Hanks 9/11 crying thing, but I doubt very much that any of these films can knock one of these movies out of my top 10 for 2011.

10.  The Adventures of Tintin

Fraught with story problems, this movie is nonetheless a very faithful adaptation of the Tintin graphic novels.  As a HUGE Tintin fan (I grew up with all the books) I loved this movie.  Objectively, I can't tell you if it is really any good - it seemed like it was, but mostly I just felt like a giddy 12 year old again watching Captain Haddock come to life before my eyes.  My 7 year old was mostly bored, but she loved Snowy.

9.  Bridesmaids

Not only hilarious, but a pretty deep movie.  While the gross out scenarios and over the top zaniness are not especially realistic, the emotions and fears of the lead girl certainly are.  Kristin Wiig is amazing, and manages to let us see her heart and mind stripped bare.  And by sharing her fears and insecurities, we can get a lot of insight into our own.

8.  Captain America: The First Avenger

Oh hells yes.  Director Joe Johnston meekly proclaimed half way through production that this Captain was not some jingoist flag waver - a statement that immediately turned me off and made me sad.

Thankfully, because the story stayed true to the character - Johnston has (in spite of his liberal weenie-ness) in fact delivered us an unapologetically patriotic Captain and a kick ass movie along with it.

Great action set pieces, offset with humor that works throughout.   Outstanding turn by the female lead (though a bit silly to see her in combat at the end) who brings real emotional weight to her love of Steve Rogers and the uniform he wears.

Best dialogue exchange:   

Red Skull: I see a future without flags.

Captain America:  Not my future

Now that's what I'm talking about!

7.  Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Bay returns to form with more big ass 'splosions and stuff.  

Pure movie awesomeness.  Love the third act which blows the walls off and sets a new bar for the action set piece.  Great moments throughout, a story we can follow, and Michael Bay finally realizes that by keeping the Deceptacons grey/silver and the Autobots brightly colored, we can much better follow who is blowing up who.

6.   Rango

Amazing art from Gore Verbinski and his team.

This animated film rises above most of it's kind - by being not only gorgeously realized, but emotionally resonant.  We feel and care for Rango from the beginning, and we are intrigued by the characters he meets along the way.  Even though the final act is the weakest, it's still strong enough for a very satisfying movie experience.

My 7 year old loves it.  Any younger (or less mature than she is) is too young.  Save this one till they can handle big and scary action set pieces - including 2 relentless pursuits by a hawk, a massive chase / shoot-out with covered wagons and bats and a very scary ginormous rattle snake that says several times that he's going to send Rango to hell.

5.  Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Now this is some cool shit.

Very awesome CGI / motion-capture work bring the apes to life in a way that was certainly impossible only a couple of years ago.

James Franco is the perfect choice for a role that we can appreciate with both sympathy for his good intentions and scorn for his naivete'.

The action is simply breathtaking, and better yet, the heartache we feel for the apes and the sadness at our own failings as a species - mingle perfectly to create a fantastic moviegoing experience that does indeed recapture some of that magic from the first Apes movie.

I can't wait to see where they go from here.

4.  Soul Surfer

Being a person who has a deep faith, this was a breath of fresh air.

Beautifully shot and realized, this is the true story of surfer Bethany Hamilton.  A girl from Hawaii who was on the path to being a professional surfer when her arm was ripped off her body by an enormous shark.

This girl also happens to be a practicing Christian, and the movie actually DOESN'T downplay this fact.  

By telling her entire story, of which her faith is a HUGE part, Soul Surfer makes the ordeal that Bethany faces and triumphs over, a very powerful and satisfying journey.

There were a few choices I wasn't crazy about - I thought there was too much voice over; the scenes that worked best were when AnnaSophia Robb (the lead) simply did her thing and lived the character - then we really got the full emotional and spiritual thrust of who this girl was.

I was taken out of the movie every time her voice would narrate precisely what she was up against.  Hey film makers, I'm not stupid!  It's very obvious that when Bethany goes to help the tsunami victims in Thailand, and teaches a little kid to surf - that she's following God's plan.  I don't need to hear her  literally say it!

Still, overall the movie is super strong - especially the end when we see the real Bethany.  Can't wait to find some time to watch the documentary on her life.

3.  The Muppets

Not perfect, but mostly it recaptures the magic.

Again, as with Tintin, I'm a huge fan - so objectively I can't tell you if this movie works.  But if you love the Muppet show and the Muppet movie, then this is an absolute must see.  Great songs and even better, a great connection to our old friends.

2.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2

Simply outstanding.  As with Tolkien, Rowling is at her strongest when paying off the story.  Much as Return of the King is my favorite Lord of the Rings episode, this final chapter has to be my favorite of the Harry Potter world.

For the third time I must say, I'm a HUGE fan.  So who knows if this movie is actually any good, and you might as well ignore the following nerd speak.

The brilliant - the battle of Hogwarts.  Snapes death and the pensieve. The epilogue.

The great - the dragon escape.  Hermione as Bellatrix.

The good - Ableforth.   The kiss.  Fred's death.

The fair - Rowena Ravenclaw.

The clumsy - Bellatrix's demise.  Way underdone and awkward.

1.  Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

Picking number one is always tough, but this year it was pretty clear cut.  M:IGP was simply my most satisfying movie going experience of the year.   Great fucking film.

It had all the best elements of the past 3 movies, a complicated but coherent story, great gags, and a highly motivated protagonist.   

Best of all, it pulls of what many movies on this list couldn't - a completely solid final act and brilliant payoff.

Great stuff!

Honorable Mentions:

Rio

Fantastic animated fare that soars above most because we are genuinely invested in the lead bird's journey.  Yes, this damn movie makes me cry in the end.  Also, it surprisingly does touch on how awful the poverty in Brazil is, while still being an obvious love letter to the country. 

X-Men First Class

Much better than the problematic "Last Stand".  Some truly awesome moments; hopefully the next installment will up the game and bring us characters we can truly bond with.  I'm a little hesitant to dive in on this series since we got so burned on the last one.

Puss in Boots

Yes, I'm a sucker for good animation and a good story.  Fun and frothy, but also plenty of heart.

Thor

I want to see this again - very dense mythological story stuff that flew over my head a bit.  I never read the comic so I'm unfamiliar with the mythology, and this kind of cooled me off a bit from going ga-ga.  Now if I had been a HUGE fan, I'll betcha I would've loved it.  There's plenty of humor and heart in this equation, well worth a rental if you're like me and only a super hero fan and not a Thor fan.

Hanna

Very strong first half, this was shaping up to be a perfect movie, but the denouement' was a bit of a let down.

Cate Blanchett's character is, in the end, simply evil.  I thought a much stronger choice would have been to make her very complicated, and somewhat justified in her actions.  Instead, she's just a sicko.  Meh.   And the clumsy scene at the end with the deer, simply lame.

I did love the bad guy and his henchmen - very nasty and bad.  Yep, that family basically gets wiped out if you think about it.  Chills.

Super 8

Really enjoyed this solid and nostalgic monster movie.  Wish it had taken me higher emotionally, but still very solid.  Suffered a bit from my high expectations, I had a couple of friends who are over the moon about this.  Yes, I get it, the movie reminds us of our childhood - that's cool.  Problem is, the story needs to be stronger.

Let Downs

And finally, here are a few where I was disappointed, but still found a few redeeming things.

Sucker Punch

Okay, Zach Snyder is a hack.  He's proved it to me after an uneven Watchmen and now this mess.   300 looks more and more like a brilliant accident.

The main problem with this emotionless fluff, is the bleakness for no reason, and the utter lack of character in the characters.  Flat and lifeless, despite the gorgeous framing and FX.   Still, I want to watch it again.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4

After Verbinski's brilliant first Pirate movie, and the two worthy follow ups - this is a pretty big let down.  

How can you have Ian McShane playing Blackbeard and make it boring?   Rob Marshall found a way.

The mermaids are awesome - but it takes an hour to get to them.  Meanwhile, Jack Sparrow is rudderless without an Elizabeth Swan to motivate him.  Penelope Cruz's character is a pale substitute.

I enjoyed the missionary story line and appreciated the fate of the fountain of youth.  I also loved the location shooting - if there's one thing that this movie has going for it, it absolutely feels like it's set in the same universe as the Verbinski tales.

Overall, at the end of the day, it's a purchase - but suffers in comparison to the first three.

Kung Fu Panda 2

This one is actually a lot of fun and good story telling, but because the first one was so brilliant it inevitably suffers in comparison.

Saw it in the theaters with my 7 year old who liked but didn't love it (a little intense for her) and bought the blu-ray; but haven't watched it again yet.

Cars 2

The inevitable fall from grace for Pixar is actually a pretty darn good movie on it's own - but when you hold it up to it's pedigree, well, this simply doesn't cut it.

I like that it's a completely different direction from the first one, and a send up of James Bond - very cool.  But Mater simply cannot carry a movie, though the payoff for his character when it finally does come, is actually pretty good.

Pretty good.  Pixar.  Mmmmmm....   no.

So there it is, overall I had a good time at the movies this year,but I'm sad to say that I didn't catch any "films" that were truly great.  Last year I had "True Grit", but this year, pretty much zip.  Ah well.  Looking forward to 2012 at the movies!

The grown-up in the room.

Recently an old family friend shared this on facebook.

She, like many from her generation, is a died in the wool liberal, and this cartoon was meant as a cutting jab to the heartless republican establishment.

I saw it and laughed out loud and thought to myself - "That's right, the answer is no!"

This cartoon absolutely nails the reality of being a conservative in the information age.  And for me it was like a big lightbulb going off and illuminating why I so often face hostility among my friends and family when we discuss politics.

It's because I have to be the grown-up and point out uncomfortable truths and set limits.

I find it very similar to occasional interactions with my child.  For example, on Valentines day she comes home with a bag full of cards and candies.

"Daddy, can I have a chocolate turtle?"  (This is right after I pick her up after school)

"No sweetheart, it will be your dinner time when we get home."

"Ohhh...." She pouts, crosses her arms and stamps her foot.  She doesn't throw a tantrum, but she clearly resents not being able to have candy.  Clearly, it's Valentines day!

Daddys are so mean.

Yes, we conservatives are the parents - and believe me, it really sucks.  It sucks to be "mean" and say how it is, knowing we have to face pouty faces and temper tantrums.  (The liberal equivalent being regular and surprisingly vicious ad hominem attacks on our integrity.)

The lightbulb became especially bright for me when, two days after I saw this cartoon - I stumbled across this video.



This, says it perfectly.

There is a pervasive infantilism in many baby-boomers, and unfortunately it's infected a good chunk of my generation as well.  Children don't want to hear that they can't get away with their selfishness and can get hostile when confronted with this fact.

It sucks that we have to be the ones to point out that people have to be held accountable for their actions and that in fact, there are actually real world standards of right and wrong.

It makes liberals indignant when I tell them that they can't have a cookie (health care) before dinner (without paying for it).

It makes liberals petulant when I tell them that bullies (Islamo-fascists) don't want to talk (negotiate peace) they just want to punch their lights out (the destruction of Israel and the USA).

And it especially makes liberals lose their tempers when I inform them that no, they can't simply take money (tax) from someone else who has worked hard for it (CEO, small business owner, etc.)  and give it to their friends (people who will vote for them.)

That's called stealing children, and giving people you like treats, that you've taken from someone else, so they will be your friends doesn't mean they are really your friends.

I like this metaphor!   It really does explain a lot of the hostility I've received over the years.

I just have to remember, that though children don't like rules - deep down they really do need them.

In other news...

So Romney is inevitable - or is he?

Before Gingrich went psycho on us he was my guy.   Then he flipped his wig and I lost interest, content with the fact that Romney is the de-facto mediocre and soft intellectual lightweight that will lose to Obama come November.

Fine.  Whatever.  As long as we are relentless with our drones and actually stand by Israel regardless of rhetoric, I can live with another 4 years of "The One".  Our economy will likely be beyond fucked after he's through with it, despite the recent "improvements".  Yeah, 5 trillion in debt and counting with a still very high unemployment rate, things are really looking up.  Insert eye roll here.

But a funny thing happened last night, Romney lost to Santorum in three states.  Not only lost, but was in fact obliterated.  Ron Paul finished second in Colorado, with Mitt a distant third.  This could get interesting.

I'm not a fan of Santorum primarily because he is a big government "conservative" cut from the same cloth as GWB.  He believes it is the government's role to oversee and fund social programs that foster entitlement and bloated bureaucracy.  He doesn't say this in so many words, but his record speaks volumes as to what kind of deficit spending we would face under his administration.  I reckon he might even give Barry a real run for the money.

The other strike Santorum has against him is the whole bat-shit crazy evangelical thing.  Personally, I could care less what God someone prays to as long as they keep it on the down low when they're doing their job.  On the flip side, I would have a real hard time voting for a President that didn't have some kind of faith in the almighty.

Rick Santorum unfortunately has bought into the kool-aid of the extreme religious right and is ardently anti-gay marriage, pro-life and various other hard line positions on issues of "morality", which as I have stated here many times before are big losers for the GOP.

Myself, I'm pro-gay marriage.  It seems a rather obvious no-brainer for conservatives who truly believe government should stay out of our lives.  I am baffled by many republicans who somehow don't see the hypocrisy in calling for less government intrusion while at the same time insisting that the "sanctity of marriage" be protected by the government.

To be fair, there is plenty of anti-gay marriage sentiment on the left side of the aisle as well.  President Obama is still steadfastly against it.  Not to mention the African-American community, as over a three quarters of them in California who voted for Obama in 2008 also voted yes on Prop. 8.

Wherever people line up politically, on this issue of who can marry who - it is quite frankly un-American to dictate that a man/woman union is okay while a man/man or woman/woman union is not.  When I look at some of my straight friends with failed marriages, and then I see a gay couple that I've known still going strong for nearly 20 years, my mind boggles.

So I'm somewhat pleased that the 9th circuit has seen fit to call out Prop 8 for what it is, a "separate but equal" fallacy reminiscent of Jim Crow laws.

There is also a part of me though, the conservative part, that recognizes that laws do not in the end change people's minds or hearts.   They can certainly do more help than harm on occasion, but I truly believe you cannot legislate morality.

A big case in point that liberals like to make is that the supreme court case of Brown vs. Board of Education was the catalyst and biggest instrument of change for the civil rights movement, along with the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

I would have to disagree here and say that it wasn't a legal decision or a passage of any law that brought about real and lasting change in the hearts and minds of Americans.  It was the televised images of dogs and fire hoses being unleashed on blacks in the south that really turned the tide.

Laws certainly can help shape behavior, but people cannot be legislated into being better human beings. For a person to truly change his heart, he as has to be confronted not with threat of legal consequence or even incarceration, but with the light of truth which is rooted in reality.

The Supreme Court of the United States may or may not uphold the 9th circuit's decision, in the end I really think it won't matter as much as many claim.  Real change will only come when society as a whole relents to the truth that "separate but equal" is as false now as it was a half a century ago.

I am optimistic, perhaps naive, but I do believe that in a decade or so most of us will wonder what all the fuss was about.  In the mean time I'm happy to take on the anti-gay marriage folks in both parties who stubbornly cling to their out-dated lines of logic.

I am less comfortable labeling anti-gay marriage people bigots or homophobes.  I don't think anyone would give our President this label, even though he is explicitly anti-gay marriage; so I am not going to sink to this level with someone just because they happen to also be a republican, conservative, Christian or all three.

A second reason to refrain from such severe labeling is that it shuts down dialogue.  Liberals are very eager to name call - tea-baggers, hate-mongers, racists, etc.   That's simply not how I roll, because I find when I do that (though I do love calling the OWS people "flea-baggers") then any chance I have to get through to someone vanishes in the fog of anger.

Also, I find that there is an enormous double standard for those of us on the right. Someone on the left can literally call for bringing back the guillotine and no one gives a shit, but if a conservative gets one toe out of line the world comes crashing down.    This double standard applies not only in the big leagues of g and the media, but is also used to a relentless degree by everyday liberals online and in daily life.

When Sarah Palin has a few crosshairs on her political action map she is directly responsible for the Tucson shooting.  When Obama says that he's going to bring a gun to a knife fight, it's simply an exchange of ideas.

Whatever.

I'm simply going to do my best to stay away from the personal and stick to the issues, recognizing that as a conservative and libertarian I have a much narrower path to walk.

Suddenly, Tammy! or Beth Sorrentino and the boys!

Everyone has that band that they loved in their youth, you know - the one that no one else has ever heard of, but is so totally awesome, right?   Well I do, and the band is called "Suddenly, Tammy!".

Actually, they disbanded in 1997.   Long story short, they were up and coming in the early 90's, released a couple of EP's, then an independent album which did pretty well and impressed a few suits.  Warner Brothers signed them to a contract and they made another record.

The band was just three people, Beth and her brother Jay and their friend Ken.   They played Piano, drums and bass respectively.  No guitars.   That's right - no guitars.

Pretty amazing sound.   Awe inspiring really.   Check it out.



The video isn't the greatest, kinda 1990's film school, but it's growing on me.  In my professional opinion it is cut very well and there are a few electric moments where you see Beth and the guys play and it works nicely.  And it also fits thematically with the band - a school bus is perfect, as they really are exuberant musicians, giving the impression that they all went to band class together.  My favorite element here is probably that they're all bobbing their heads, tapping their feet and hands, rockin' out the way we all have.

"Suddenly, Tammy!" were definitely the new flavor of the month there for a bit - here's a great snippet from a music program that shows what they were all about.  This clip is actually how I discovered the band.



Yep, these guys and gal are for sure one of my all time favorites.  I find the deceptively plain lyrics and the expert musicianship along with Beth's simple and plaintive (some would say child-like) singing to be a very potent mix.  As I get older I appreciate it all even more, and am able to connect in a very visceral way to ST's very powerful technique.

After the single "Hard Lesson" came out and the album with it, which is divine and available on I-Tunes and Amazon (it's called "We Get There When We Do") the group toured for a bit and then went back in the studio for a follow up in 1996.

After recording and mixing, alas, Warner Brothers had a big purge of many of their artists, and "Suddenly, Tammy!" was among the casualties, released from their contract.

Most awful of all, the record that the band had made - "Comet" was not only not released, it was put on a shelf and made unavailable to anyone, I think maybe even including the band!

The group went their separate ways the following year and life moved on.  Not sure what the boys ended up doing, but according to several websites Beth settled into teaching music full time to kids in Manhattan.

As the years passed in my life, I often felt a twinge of sadness whenever ST would pop up on my i-pod - I still loved the sound, and would occasionally play a whole ST record, but I couldn't help wonder what might have been.

This band has a truly unique sound and it seems like a no brainer that they should have found a lot more commercial success.  If a capable but musically simple and highly derivative piano pounder like Ben Folds could have a monster career with soundtrack deals and sold out hockey arenas, why not Beth and her guys?    To me, when you hold ST up with BFF and others like him, it seems that ST brings so much more to the table musically and emotionally.

But anyway, I digress.  "Comet" wasn't going to see the light of day anytime soon, and the years rolled by.

Then, in 2006, Beth put out an amazing solo album on I-Tunes, which was basically a demo tape - just her and a piano, and almost entirely down tempo songs.  I always prefer the rocking stuff, but  I bought it anyway (after discovering it randomly in 2008) and really enjoyed it.  There are some great stand out tracks.   Again, very powerful and emotional stuff.  EDIT: Not sure why this video got muted - I'll put it up to youtube's software.  Hopefully I can find a replacement vid or track.



There's a comment below this video that really speaks to how Beth's music, or any music I guess, can ingrain itself into a person.

"It is amazing how music and a unique artist's voice can get inside you and become part of who you are."

Yep, that's what Beth and ST have been for me over the last decade and a half.  More than any other group, they have sunk into my soul and tapped into my emotional core.  So I was happy that she was still making music.   Still, "Comet" was always kicking around in the back of my brain.   The "lost" album.

Tantalizingly,  I would occasionally read a post or a blurb from someone on the interwebs that they had heard a bootleg of the record and it was incredible.

Time moved on.

Then, yesterday, I for some unknown reason I searched Beth Sorrentino on Itunes.  I guess I was just wondering if she had put out more stuff in the couple of years since her solo debut.

She did have a new record, just released last year.  Yay.  And also... there it was.  "Comet" was available for download.  It had been released almost 2 years ago!

I haven't even listened to Beth's new record yet,  I'm looking forward to purchasing and enjoying it, but right now I've got "Comet" stuck in my car's cd player and stuck on repeat on my ipod.

It is, of course, a truly great record.   And a great relief, that the world, or at least us few ST-philes, can finally enjoy it.   I can't find a song on YouTube, but if you dig ST's first two records, you'll love this one too.   EDIT: (2016) Found the record on YouTube, listen to this as a sample - and then buy the record!



I'm glad I can share this group with my friends and family here.   I still can't help feel a little bit melancholy that Beth and the boys were unable to turn their passion into a lucrative profession - but in the end, the music stands (including "Comet" thank God!)  and it touches people in a very profound way.

As time continues to pass relentlessly, other, more "successful" musicians will fade away.  "We Built This City on Rock and Roll" probably sold millions and millions of copies, but will someone be driving home late at night, listening to it and be gently weeping for joy?   I don't think so.

Memories, and disposable songs, fade in time.   Art that resonates emotionally, lingers.

"Suddenly, Tammy!" will be in my heart until the end - and for that I am beyond grateful.

One Simple Reason

There's only one simple reason why 2011 was a shit year.

I lost my dad.

I have written on this blog a few times about death, people that I've known and known of, passing on and the impact they've had on me.

But until I lost my father, I had never experienced a real loss.

Thankfully, in the end, all the drama surrounding his passing, the endlessly complicated whirlwind of human and chemical factors that brought about his death - none of that matters.

The turmoil in myself over what I could have done differently is fading.  I am instead overwhelmed with unconditional love for him and I have long forgiven him and myself for all the sins and bullshit that all human beings typically cannot escape anyway, no matter where they come from or what they have to endure.

I can sincerely say that very soon I will have nothing traumatic left about my dad - I love him and I know he loved me.   Nothing feels wrong or bad about his being gone save for one cold hard fact.  

The simple fact that he IS gone and I can't call him up or fly down to see him.  Ever.

That is the one simple reason, the one crushing obstacle that I don't think I will overcome.

2011, outside of this one simple reason, was a damn good year.   Good career, loving wife and kid.  I'm healthy and the future looks bright.

But God I miss him.

We were not as close as I would have liked, but I know he is so much of who I am that in the end the less than ideal closeness didn't really matter.   He was hardwired into my brain and soul, and I'd like to think that I was to him as well.

Even in stretches of a month or more where we didn't call each other, I know we were still bonded.  Partly it was his disease that kept me away, but also I know that we both had our own busy lives and it was okay.   As Merrill men, that's just how we rolled.

I do regret a bit that I didn't call more often, but I know he's okay with it because of our unspoken bond.

And I know that wether it was destiny or choices that brought about his end, as Forrest Gump posits at Jenny's grave - Are we a feather just floating on the breeze or can we choose?  Maybe it's both...   In the end it doesn't really matter.  What's happened has happened and it's okay, except of course that he's not here any more.

That's the one simple reason why I'm in pain and probably will remain so for a long time.

But I can also smile and know that in the ways that mattered most he was a great man, the smartest and strongest I've ever known.   And that I'm going to do my best to live up to the best parts of him.  The fun parts that were stubborn and righteous, but also the parts that were thoughtful and kind.

I'm looking forward to the new year, and though I'll always miss him terribly, I know I'll also have a part of my dad in my heart forever.   I feel a small jolt of bittersweet joy stirring in my soul these days whenever an event pops up that reminds me of him.   For example, when I sit down to a great home cooked meal or take in a fun "caper" movie like Mission Impossible 4 that I saw the other night.

It's good and it's bad, it's happy and it's sad.  But in the end I treasure these little pangs of memories - and truly hope they don't fade too much.   I love that I can be flipping through channels, hit a Seinfeld rerun and then suddenly be focused like a laser on a vision of my dad.   I don't want to lose this, because as time passes, these flashes become a little less painful and a little more comforting.

True, 2012 will be tough because of the one simple reason, but I'm also grateful that I still really miss my dad, and that he can present himself to me at unexpected times.   As hard as it is, it is also wonderful - and in that I can find some consolation.

Pwned.

I haven't been watching the endless Republican debates, because frankly without Christie or Giulliani in the race, I don't really have a horse to root for - but someone recently sent me this.

Gingrich dismantles a smug CBS anchor beautifully here, and perfectly articulates the disconnect between comprehension-impaired liberals and the rest of us who get it.  

The funny thing is, I know that the idiot "journalist" here probably doesn't even get that he was just served up and down and side to side.   There is simply too big of a short circuit in the elitist brain.

So now I know, that despite his skeletons, despite his wacky asides (an incredibly stupid video with Pelosi springs to mind) I will be voting without holding my nose for Newt should he be the man against his Obama-ness.   This guy is one smart mo fo, and I would be happy to have him as my president.

Confused?

Don't be.

Recently in political discussions people have been assuming and lumping me in with religious nuts.

While I confess, I do believe in Jesus and his teachings, it's really kind of a private thing between me and him.

When it comes to my politics - my faith has both everything and nothing to do with where I stand.

Follow me if you can.

When it comes to who should be elected into higher office, I'm not interested in Jesus.  I'm interested in freedom.

I have very little in common with bible thumping loons.  I am a free thinking pro-choice, pro-gun, pro-capitalism, pro-gay marriage and pro-liberty dude from Berkeley California.

To me, freedom of the individual is sacred above all.  

I am against a redistribution of wealth, against the death penalty, against higher taxes and bigger government.

Most of all I am against someone else telling me how to live my life and taking the fruits of my labor and giving them to someone else.

Capitalism is what made and continues to make this country the greatest on God's green earth.

Our troops are what keeps us free.

What's between me and my God is my own business.

Clear things up a bit?

One and the same?

In a nutshell, I have come around on my initial opinion that the Occupy Wall Street movement is analogous to the Tea Party group. At first blush, I thought that the ernest young people in Zuccotti Park were simply expressing themselves and their discontent, much as libertarian and right of center citizens have been doing for the last 2 and a half years.

Well, I suppose they are technically doing that - but in every other respect they could not be more different than the TP's.

The first difference is message - the Tea Party has one. Even if you disagree with it, their premise is simple. Lower taxes, smaller government.

What is the OWS message? 

Banks are greedy and corrupt and made off like bandits as the economy collapsed. 

"Okay, and?"

"That's it man. Corporations are evil." 

"So what's the solution then?"

"More regulations and more government."

Okay...

As a wing-nut you all know that I find this preposterous, but setting fundamental disagreements aside, this "message" is not only unfocused, it's incoherent both in it's presentation and apparent absence of a solution.

In other words - Where's the beef?

There is no substance here, only the same dreck the radical left has been pushing for my lifetime entire, and for decades prior.

That said, they still have a right to protest, right?

Absolutely.

Were they to organize and communicate effectively per the Tea Party, march on specific targets, disrupt actually culpable organizations - they would have some sympathy from me.  Alas, as it is, they have decided to take their message to public spaces by squatting.

Zuccotti Park in New York City is now in squalor. Trash everywhere, human feces too. Used condoms and drug paraphernalia litter the ground. The stench of weed is overpowering. And the drums are really annoying.

Great. These are the values of OWS.

An incoherent message, and a delightful medley of shitting, fucking and drug use.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Not to mention a blizzard of sexual assaults, not only in Zuccotti but every other major city with an OWS movement. 

Peace, love. Get your rape on. But don't talk to the cops. We'll handle this.

And the parks, which everyone used to enjoy, are now off limits to people who actually live in the neighborhoods. Local businesses are suffering, laying off workers and even shutting down.

Remind me again - why is this necessary?

Let's say for argument sake, that OWS actually has a message that makes sense - let's say that blaming the banks (rather than the government and and their lackeys such as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) is entirely logical.

It's a big leap, I know - but stay with me.

Let's say they are not idiotic. Isn't there a better way to not only get their message across, but to affect real change in the system?

Yes, I suppose they could march in the tens of thousands on Washington (as the Tea Party did) in a calm and organized manner, clearly articulating what it is they want (again, as you know who did) and being respectful of their environment, other citizens and law enforcement.

But where's the fun in that? You can't smoke it, crap on it or screw it - so what's the point?

Fuck it.

At least, that's the impression these fine folks are giving me.

Okay, so they don't have a coherent or half intelligent message. Okay, so they are disruptive and destructive. They still have a right to protest, right?  Yes on the first, no on the second.

There is no such thing as an unrestricted right to free speech. Charles Cooke from the National Review says it best.

"There is no right of “occupation” included in the Bill of Rights, nor does a desire to protest accord a right to take over private property, or disregard the laws of the land. They couldn’t march into Barnes & Noble and take it over for a month with impunity."

And therein lies my biggest rub with this whole smelly fiasco.

Because these protestors, with their stupidity and their destructive tendencies, fall in line politically with liberal elites (who also happen to be in charge of most urban cities) - they have been given a free pass to take a shit in the faces of law abiding citizens.

Can you imagine if the Tea Party had deigned to set up a campground at Zuccotti and refused to leave?

Are you kidding me? This violent mob, as our president has referred to the Tea Party, would have been summarily squashed under the thumb of the police state.

The mayor of Oakland, a life long tool of union progressives, lost her mind for a brief moment and tried to do just that to the smelly squatters in her city. It lasted for less than 12 hours. She was back to praising them and even called on city unions (excepting the police of course) to endorse their ham-handed general strike which succeeded only in damaging local businesses and shutting down the 4th biggest port in the world.  Bizarro world indeed.

The rule of law has been dismissed out of hand in favor of populist opportunism and mob rule.

The problem for the liberals is that they forget their history all too quickly.

In 1968 the anti-war hippies were at the height of their power, and they were going to take their candidate to the White House and get out of Vietnam immediately.

Except that their guy lost in a landslide to Richard Nixon. Nixon in fact carried the vast majority of the youth vote. 

Uh-oh.

Obama and his lackeys have made yet another fatal error, by throwing in with these Flea Baggers (man it feels good to say that after being called a Tea Bagger for so long) they have distanced themselves, perhaps irrevocably from most Americans.

The sad part is, I and many agree with the one kernal of common sense that the OWS is spouting - the banks should have never been bailed out. But Bush started it, and Obama finished it decisively. The fact that all the private banks and corporations that were helped by the government paid back their loans with interest is lost on OWS, but I can even agree with them that we shouldn't have dumped the money in the first place.

I would also like to point out to them that Obama has received twice the donations to his campaign from Wall Street that Bush did. 

But don't let facts get in the way.

Take a crap, stick it in, smoke some dope and throw a brick.

My 53%

I am one of the few and the privileged, I am an American.

In my work as a videographer I have been to 31 countries, many of them third world.

I have seen the worst poverty imaginable, from the streets of Bombay to the slums of Nairobi.

I have seen a baby starving to death right in front of me.

I have walked through raw sewage to get to a tin shack, where a family of 10 lived.

I learned of the rape gangs that prowled their neighborhood, and I met the grandmother who had been a frequent victim.

I have been to 6 communist countries.

In China I saw the television go blank when a news story about Tibet started to come on.

In Russia we were pulled over for no reason in particular by a police officer standing on the corner.

With hardly a word, my driver payed the cop 900 rubles in cash ($40) so we could drive on.

In Nicaragua, every street vendor had a pistol in his belt.

Every truck driver had someone next to him with a shotgun.

In Egypt I asked someone where the bathroom was, he took me there - and then demanded money for his help.

This kind of thing happened over and over and over again during my visit.

I have also seen poverty and despair in America, but only in my work with Feed the Children.

Yes there are hungry families here, yes these are tough times.

But the guy on the street corner in Nike shoes with an ipod asking me for change is not hungry, he is strung out on drugs.

The kids in a park near Wall Street, wallowing in grime and trash, having sex and consuming copious amounts of drugs in public, do not engender sympathy from me.

They are selfish and self obsessed.

They presume to speak for me, when they have not seen genuine poverty a day in their life.

They are decadent, self-loathing narcissists who have confused freedom with entitlement.

America is an opportunity, it is not a guarantee.

I have been blessed beyond belief that my hard work has reaped material and emotional rewards.

But I know it could all end tomorrow with a bit of bad luck or a tragic event.

If it does, I won't look to anyone for compensation.

I don't want a dime from my government.   I don't want a dime from anyone.

****

Whatever the happenstance or the circumstance, if things go bad, I will make my own way.

Because I live in the greatest country on God's green earth, and I have the OPPORTUNITY to
do it myself.

By the sweat of my brow, by the determination in my soul.

Like my forefathers before me, who toiled a hundred times greater than I ever have - I will fight and fight and fight to make my way.

And I will not presume that anyone owes me anything.

I am the 53%.

Now get off my lawn.

Ten Years of Regression

Firstly, there are idiots like this. Dennis Miller calls them out beautifully here.

Then, there are morons like this. Yes, I'm calling George Will, a conservative that I otherwise admire greatly, a moron. He has been a defeatist over the war on terror for over half a decade now. When it comes to Iraq and Afghanistan, he has no clue.

Finally, the biggest jackasses of all - the ones who are so full of self loathing and contempt that they are leaping out of their skin to throw our country under the bus.

Unfortunately, the last group is now conventional wisdom of the media and leftist elites.

Really? Is this what we've learned in the ten years since that fateful day?

I beg to differ.

This is a video I edited and posted in January of last year.

The music of Five for Fighting, and the pictures I found through simple google searches - speak perfectly to my thoughts and feelings on that day.

But let me also add what I put on facebook last week.

"Just remember; despite that the media and government will avoid saying this at all costs in the next few days - 9/11 was perpetrated by Muslim Extremists in the name of their faith.

They killed almost 3000 Americans because they hate us and they hate our freedom. And there are still Islamo-facists out there who want us dead, not because of what we have done, but because of who we are.

Never Forget. Never forget that Americans were forced to jump to their death because of these monsters. Never forget that we were all united against them in the days that followed.

The words of appeasement dominate our vocabulary today and threatens to consume us. I pray most of us will have the courage to remain defiant against the people among us that would have us tolerate the insanity of sharia law in our midst."

This innocuous little post - which I would hope echoes the inner sentiments of most Americans of all faiths, was branded as "the voice of hate" by someone that, until I was summarily de-friended, I thought was a reasonable liberal.

I'm beginning to think that they are far and few between.

There seems to be a real disconnect in the liberal mind, between logic/reason and emotion/reaction. It stems from complete indoctrination into an anti-American world view that is bolstered by an utter lack of ability in reading and comprehension.

All my post said, was a statement of fact. There was no judgement therein, no supposition, and absolutely no condemnation of the Muslim faith at large.

I know practicing Muslims. I've been to half a dozen Muslim countries. I know of what I speak.

Muslims, by and large, are peaceful and good people. Just as most Christians are.

When the left calls out radical evangelicals, the kind that shoot abortion doctors and bomb clinics - where is the stampede of accusations from the right?

Oh yeah, right wing Christians are able to distinguish the majority of their flock (peaceful, law abiding) from the nutballs.

But I say a completely factual statement about 9/11 and the RADICAL Muslims that perpetrated it - and I'm the "voice of hate."

Give me a break.

Read this carefully - RADICAL Islamo-Fascists hate America because they hate freedom. Their twisted view of a peaceful religion colors everything they are trying to accomplish - which is primarily to kill as many Jews and westerners as they can.

Our foreign policy has jack shit to do with their motivations. It is who we are, not what we have done, that fuels their hatred.

Frankly, I can be ostracized by my friends and even family until the cows come home and I will not lose my courage.

I will always remember September 11th, 2001 as a day that freedom was attacked by evil.

A day when we resolved to strike back at our attackers - and did so. And in the end we prevailed.

And I will teach my daughter these simple facts.

God willing she will be a "voice of hate" - in other words, she will be courageous in speaking to the truth. She will not blink in the face of ostracism and being shunned, dismissed by those who are more comfortable smearing and shrieking than discussing the cold reality of evil.

She will not back down to anger. She will not be intimidated by histrionics and posturing.

She, like my father before me, will only be interested in the truth - no matter how "uncomfortable" it makes those who wallow in the indulgence of self-loathing and fear.

My Towering Fortress

My father passed away peacefully in his sleep Sunday morning, August 7, 2011.

Here are the words I wrote for and spoke at his memorial service on Friday, August 12.

****

My father leaves behind a legacy of kindness, compassion and a quiet dignity that touched many lives profoundly, not the least of which was my own.

In raising my brother David and I, Allan Merrill was a towering fortress, both literally and figuratively. One of my earliest memories of my dad was trying to keep up with him in the Hukilau parking lot, his long strides made it very difficult for my little legs to keep up. I was running, he was floating.

But as a father he was very much a gentle giant.

It must be my memory playing tricks on me, but I cannot remember a single incident of my father raising his voice to me. And I know for a fact he never raised his hand either. Don’t get me wrong, he could be stern - but something about him, his presence, his values, his dignity - made a withering look from him far more effective than any scream or belt could ever be.

But he was rarely, if ever, disappointed with his sons. I truly feel unworthy, as an adult with all my faults and sins - to be a lifelong object of such unconditional love from my dad. I recognize though, what an amazing and pretty rare gift that was.

He was always proud of us, always. He never stopped bragging to his friends on the island about my traveling for my job or my brothers achievements in medicine.

When I look at my dad and all his accomplishments and how many lives he has touched, I am truly humbled by the everlasting love and admiration that he bestowed on my brother and I, from the time we were babes in his arms to recently when I had a baby of my own.

Yes, he was always a big man. I mean, even as a 40 year old man, I still had to reach up to hug my dad.

But bigger still, was his heart and his compassion. In every way, Allan Merrill was to me - and always will be - larger than life.

His grandmother had an X on her front porch railing a signal to passing transients that her home had food available for the asking. Allan took his cue from this all of his life.

I can remember as a child making plates of food for men who would show up around back at the Hukilau kitchen.

If there was a holiday, Thanksgiving or Christmas, more than likely you could find my dad and Linda serving up hot food to the needy at a local shelter or mission.

My dad had an unending compassion, not only for the less fortunate, but for the people he surrounded himself with and also the people he employed over the years. These folks were more than just workers to my dad, they were to him - truly family. It sounds crazy, but it’s true - he genuinely had love in his heart for the people who were so instrumental in making his business ventures so successful.

There is a long list of people, and there is a room full of people here, who repaid my dad in kind with love and loyalty. To all of them, to all of you, you have my family’s everlasting gratitude and appreciation.


If there’s one thing I am taking from my dad today, across the countless, priceless, memories him it is a great gift he gave me. The gift of dignity.

He had a presence about him, I really believed he was touched by the divine, in his ability to bring dignity through himself to his surroundings and those around him.

He had an innate sense of goodness, of right and wrong - and while he was no saint (and who is?) he bestowed this inner awareness of justice in me right from the beginning.

My father taught me, not in words, but in how he lived his life - that through the chaos, the hurt, the sorrow, the anguish in life - we must always step back and compose ourselves, and remember… we are, all of us, in this, the greatest country on God’s green earth, we are all - truly blessed. Take stock. Take measure. Keep your bearings. Keep your dignity.

One small but very telling example of his gift - my father never swore in front of me. Ever.

This makes, an impression.

It speaks to everything about him. Time and a place. Good times, good friends - but always keep your wits about you. Keep your focus where it needs to be. On those you love and on the good Lord above.

This is what I’ve been given. This is what we’ve all been given. Everlasting, unconditional, not always perfect - but always eternal, love.

Thank you all for being here for him, I know he is here among us, laughing along as we share stories and memories.

Thanks to all of you who helped make today happen.

Thank you pastor Larry for your beautiful words and all the comfort you’ve brought to my family.

Please, all of you, enjoy yourself today. Share, and reminisce all the good times and even some of the tough times. Laugh and cry - embrace that this gentle giant, has once again brought us closer together. And remember the endless love in his heart. Let it flow from him to you and to your loved ones.

Me, I’m going to close my eyes and smile, imagining myself in the parking lot, trying to keep up. Yep, I’m still running - and he’s still floating.

I love you dad.

Children please...

I'm disgusted with just about everyone involved in this debt ceiling thing, but I'm most disappointed (once more) with our president.

He takes to the airways not to lay out a plan of action, but to lay blame in the most churlish and childish fashion imaginable. It is beneath him and the office he holds. He hides behind his campaign mode to disguise the fact that he is in way over his head.

Meanwhile, conservatives now are fighting amongst themselves wether or not they should vote for Boehner's shitty short term plan that barely scratches the surface of the spending cuts that are needed.

On the other side, Reid and his cronies are proclaiming the GOP bill dead on arrival anyway, and have drawn up their own ineffectual plan which bears not much difference from the Boehner plan, other than it puts off having to actually deal with this crisis until after the 2012 election. Hmmm, imagine that.

Funny how the MSM and "conservatives" like McCain are spinning the GOP's division and ineffectiveness in hopes that the party in power will somehow be absolved of blame when the shit finally hits the fan. Sorry guys, it's 2 to 1, the president and the senate are democrats.

The former has no plan, the latter has a plan that is solely designed to kick the can down the road until after the election. Obama and his gang will take the hit on this if it goes south. That's just the way it is.

But regardless, if given a choice between stubborn ideologues who stand up for what they believe in, and political opportunists who are more concerned with saving their own asses than finally acting like adults and cutting spending, I'll go with the wing nuts, thanks. As annoying as they can be, at least they aren't trading in their souls for political expediency.

That said, I really just wish all these a-holes would just grow up and find a pair.

Spending needs to be cut drastically. Period. You can call the cuts severe, draconian, inhumane, I really don't give a shit. Times are tough, it's time for hard decisions, it's time to act like an adult. It's time for leadership - and our president is right now failing us on this front in spectacular fashion.

Because he is such an ideologue, or maybe it's because he's in George Soros' pocket, it doesn't really matter which; he insists on pushing the politics of fear and class warfare.

All these "millionaires and billionaires" need to pay their fair share. Are you kidding me? Raising taxes in a recession? Really?

And by the way, we're not really making any significant cuts to spending. We're just going to keep on keeping on - dumping money on education and health care for illegal immigrants, "social justice" programs that have a 60 year history of spectacular failure, random subsidies that reward non-productivity and provide incentive for incompetence and impotence in the face of todays global economy.

Yep, government is bigger than ever, and it's not shrinking any time soon. If the left has it's way, it will get it's tentacles into every aspect of our lives.

Have a fat kid? Child protective services will take him away.

Enjoy junk food? We're going to tax it.

We're going to take your money and give it to someone else, someone less fortunate than you. They deserve it. You don't. You have enough money already.

We need a level playing field.

We need things to be fair.

That 6 year old looks suspicious, better give her a pat down before she gets on the plane.

Nice restaurant. Is that trans-fat? You can't serve that. Seriously, it's illegal. Stop laughing.

Circumcision is immoral. We're going to make it illegal. Really. By the way we hate Jews.

Welcome to our Veteran's cemetery, by the way don't mention God. Ever.

And if you don't like any of this, you're a racist piece of shit.

*****

Sorry, I got a bit carried away. Sort of.

I know it may seem that this laundry list of nanny state nonsense is unrelated to our current fiscal dilemma - but in my mind they are both part and parcel of the same problem. The left's unending obsession and fantasy about making things "fair".

There is nothing fair about our economic debacle, just as there is nothing fair about kids who eat crap and terrorists that blow up planes. But we do have to deal with these problems in a realistic fashion.

We cannot wish or hope these problems away. We cannot wave a magic wand and change what is in people's hearts or the cold reality of hard numbers.

We have to look at obstacles with a critical eye, and devise real world solutions.

You cannot legislate what's in people's hearts, just as you cannot steal money from successful people and give it to people that you deem worthy. It is a preposterous way of thinking and seeing the world.

Much better to make hard choices that will do the least damage in the long run.

When you tax job creators, you cost people jobs. When you give people hand outs rather than show them how to help themselves, you rob people of dignity and self worth. Even worse, you make them dependent on the state.

It is, in a very real way - a form of slavery.

This debt ceiling business is a perfect illustration of liberal versus conservative thinking. One side wants to simply take money out of American's pockets and then spend it all on the impossible dream of making things "fair."

The other side, my side, has had enough of dumping money down a black hole of failure. It is time for accountability. It is time for a social safety net that gives incentive and rewards to those who help themselves and discourages sloth, fraud and deceit from those who refuse to do their part.

If and when this country defaults for the first time in it's history - there will be no joy from either side of the aisle. It will be a tragic thing, but in the end it will be the misguided Robin Hood's of "social justice" that will be responsible for such a failure. They are the ones who are running the joint, they are the ones that will have to try and pick up the pieces, and they are the ones who will face the music in November of 2012.