The problem of sexual harassment isn't unique to Hollywood and has nothing to do with the leftist culture regarding sex, it has to do with men, American society and power relationships.
This is what I would say if I had succumbed to the lunacy of my hometown, Berkeley California, back in the day in my formative years. Fortunately, I managed to escape with some of the good stuff (kindness, compassion, empathy) and eschew much of the bad (moral relativism, Godlessness, selfishness).
So I have come to believe that the feminist culture of the left has done little to protect women, in fact in some ways it has cleared a path for monsters like Harvey Weinstein, James Toback and others.
And Hollywood, as a community and an industry, is unique from other groups because it promotes this culture pro-actively in it's product. The culture I speak of is the idea that sex is NOT sacred, that it is a simple biological need that should be fulfilled regardless of the circumstance or the people involved. As long as it's consenting adults, the context matters very little. I say this concept is not only shameful, it's immoral and leads very quickly to very bad situations.
By commodifying sex, and demystifying it to a merely a matter of consent - it becomes very difficult from a liberal or even a libertarian perspective to argue against the casting couch. Why shouldn't an actor be able to trade their body for a movie role? After all, it's their business, it's two consenting adults, no one is getting hurt... right?
Obviously, it's not that simple.
First of all with Weinstein, he's a straight up rapist. He's banging on your hotel room door at 2am and coming in and climbing on whether you want it or not. I would concede that he is not typical of any culture, he's a monster. But I do think it's important not to dismiss him as a complete aberration - as his approach has it's roots that are not born from nothing.
How many others are Weinstein-lite in Hollywood? And what twisted moral relativism do they use to justify their predatory behavior?
The producer who takes you to dinner and says there's a part for you if you show me your parts. You politely decline and everything is fine, except you no longer have a job. Yes, that's bad, but not finishing into a potted plant bad, right?
And then there's the next level, offer a part for putting out, but don't blacklist her if she says no. That's not as bad, right?
My question is, when does it become okay to barter with sex? Where is the line? It's very hard to find a line when you start with the premise that if it feels good and doesn't ''hurt" anyone that you should do it and not worry about it.
I think having sex for it's own sake is a truly terrible idea. I believe we need a cultural re-set when it comes to sex. We have to re-invest sex with value beyond just a physical transaction. We need to remember that sex is much much more than just two people getting off. It has meaning, it has significance and it is meant to be a sacrament between two people as the culmination of courting, falling in love and matrimony.
Failing that, for those who refuse to take it that far - I would pray for them that they would at the bare minimum see sex as a solidification of a relationship and not merely a Friday night diversion.
When you reduce the act to the latter, the moral equivalent of a ribeye steak, something to be salivated over and then consumed, digested and expunged just so you can move on to the next meal, you have set yourself up - be you a man or a woman - for all manner of heartache and depression. You surrender a big part of your moral compass - and it can have drastic reprecussions in all other areas of life.
Not the least of which is what goes on in Hollywood on a regular basis and is perpetuated by movies and tv shows that normalize casual sex and promiscuity. It's a cycle that feeds off itself. "Of course two hot people should get each other off, why wouldn't they? Hey, what's your problem? I'm just trying to get my rocks off here, you know you want it..."
Amazingly, my fairly straightforward posit here has been met with bewilderment and consternation from some of my usually more thoughtful liberal friends. I honestly don't think what I've said here that is out of line or incorrect. I realize that my train of thought, especially on this blog, can be a bit convoluted - but I hardly think my views on sex are controversial.
I guess I'm really going out on a limb saying that Hollywood works very hard at de-valuing sex as a signifier of commitment and works just as hard at holding it up as a mere diversion to be enjoyed freely and at leisure by any two (or more) consenting adults in just about any circumstance. Who knew I was so radical?
This Hollywood approach results in such stupid statements as "teach your son not to rape". As if you're saying, "remember Billy, when you take that puppy out for a walk, don't vivisect it with a butchers knife'. I mean really, if you have to tell your kid not to rape, my guess is that kid has some pretty serious issues.
No, my dad didn't tell me not to rape. But he did tell me to honor women and treat them with respect. And he taught me, both with words and by example, that to be a man means to watch out for and be concerned for the safety and virtue of women. It is in fact, a man's job to protect women. Crazy I know. Protect them - not just hold a door open, not just let them get off the elevator first. Yes, all that common courtesy stuff, but much more important is to be vigilant, not only for one's own behavior and impulses, but for the casual cruelty and demeaning words and behavior of other men.
This means that the young men today who go out to the nightclub and see it as the Serengeti, a place for conquests - are not being men. They are exhibiting predatory behavior, even if every single female that they take home is stone cold sober and 100% willing - they are failing in their manhood. They are diminishing the fairer sex for a chance at a piece of flesh, and they are diminishing themselves in their simplistic lust that serves no purpose other than temporary gratification.
I believe we need a cultural re-set in what it means to be a man. To be man is to be ready to fight to protect women, to protect their honor, their virtue, and their physical safety. If you're a young man and at a club and a beautiful young woman is drunk and kissing you and begs you to go back to her place; you can take her there... and put her in bed and take off her shoes and tuck her in and turn out the light and take your ass home. That is being a man.
Conversely, we need to encourage women to stop emulating the predators. My heart breaks for a beautiful and (mostly) smart young woman who heads out to a club or a bar with her friends and in the back of her mind hopes to 'get lucky' and go home with some hot dude. She must know that most guys who would bang a stranger are failing in their roles as men, right? And does she understand that this kind of behavior will not lead to anything meaningful beyond a momentary orgasm (maybe, though unlikely with a guy who is selfish enough to bone a stranger) or lifelong genital warts (most probably with a guy who is selfish enough to bone a stranger).
I also live on planet earth, and I understand that biological urges and selfishness are tough nuts to crack, so to speak - but I really would hope that the lessons I laid out in the first paragraph here are not the ones that people are taking away from this whole mess.
We are not going to stop bad behavior with anything less than good behavior. The solution to vice is virtue - not a squishy (so to speak) stance on sex.
It's time for us to step back and reexamine our values - maybe it really isn't the best idea that sex can be casual, 'as basic as breakfast' or some other such nonsense. Sex should be sacred, ideally within the confines of marriage, but failing that at the very least as an intimate bond between two people that love each other.
It's probably a pie in the sky, but I can't help but hope that we can stop diminishing the physical act of love and start stepping back and recognize that the emotional and the physical are actually forever connected and should not and cannot be separated. If you lay down with someone you just met with nothing in your heart and a single goal of sating lust, you are feeding into the pattern of behavior that eventually gave us Weinstein.
Man or woman, you should feel shame and regret if you simply 'bang' some hottie that you don't know or only know for a few dates and then never call them. The walk of shame when someone sneaks out in the morning so as not to wake the stranger they just coupled with should apply to everyone regardless of gender, because you are enabling the idea that sex is cheap, that sex is like a slice of pizza - and this concept is why so many are comfortable leveraging their power for that slice. Throw in a product like the one Hollywood makes, tv shows and movies where protagonists routinely have one night stands and we all laugh about it, and you have the perfect recipe for the Brett Ratner's of the world.
I hope you dear reader, don't take away from this that we should all be chaste and silenced on the subject of sex. On the contrary, I much prefer folks to be open and honest about doing the deed - and I actually think sex is amazing and awesome and I have a very healthy libido. But I think it's okay to say "Having sex with a stranger, or someone I've just been dating for a few weeks, or even perhaps a bit longer - is probably not a good idea. In fact, it's a really bad idea. Yes, it would feel really good - but lots of things feel really good - eating several banana splits every day would feel awesome, but in the end it would take a very heavy toll."
I think it's also okay to allow yourself to look at someone that is physically attractive, appreciate it inwardly and acknowledge your own biological urges, and then remember what really matters - that this hottie was and is someone's baby, they are young and vibrant and full of life and they have that entire life ahead of them. Hopes, dreams, and yes desires. Desires that God willing will be fulfilled by a caring, committed and loving partner.
And if you're married or in a relationship, then the next thought is - THAT PARTNER WON'T BE ME because I'm very lucky, I've found a partner to share my life with. It doesn't mean you can't admire someone, for all of their appealing traits, physical and otherwise. But you are obligated to do so in a way that would never ever cause that person discomfort. Dig deep for that empathy, put yourself in their shoes - they are young, healthy, smart and beautiful. That's awesome. Why would you ever want to turn that into something ugly and superficial? That isn't love that's building up inside you, that's biology, and it is our obligation to recognize that quickly and set that aside and replace it with kindness, compassion and understanding of the most plutonic kind.
Of course we are all only human, we aren't dead, and the beast inside of us will always be there, lurking. But I think it's a lot easier to deal with when we recognize all the forces in the world that are at work to awaken it. The character Joey on the tv show Friends has had sex with literally HUNDREDS of women. This is mainstream entertainment. This is something we are encouraged to laugh at and also weirdly enough admire. But truly, this kind of behavior in real life is abhorrent. Actually, it's predatory.
Let's recognize that the sexual mores of Hollywood are not what we should take to heart - we should instead stop and say "Maybe drilling everything that moves is a terrible idea." And maybe, just maybe, if we all pull together on this, we can perhaps change things a little bit. I'm not saying that we need to have a sexless culture - certainly athletically fit and gorgeous men and women in revealing outfits don't need to disappear, I think we can all still enjoy a bit of eye candy now and again and be comfortable with ourselves as a species - but it's the more insidious stuff, the casual fornication that abounds in all of the narrative work across media, that needs to be called out more often for what it is, a slippery slope that inevitably leads to degredation and diminishment.
