Justice League: The Zack Snyder Cut

 Ok - Justice League: The Snyder Cut.

Positives -

The story is indeed a LOT better and much more coherent. Side characters, especially Cyborg, get a lot more to do and their actions make a lot more sense.

The villain Steppenwolf is no longer one note - he has motivation and a character arc that is surprisingly satisfying and even a touch emotional.

Overall the film has a much more cohesive vision and makes a lot more sense.

Negatives -

The movie is FOUR HOURS. Not that this is especially negative in the context of a streaming service. I was never bored, but the long length did mean I watched it over two days. Thankfully Snyder smartly breaks the movie up into chapters - six parts labeled with title cards, so stopping after 3 chapters felt natural and easy. So not necessarily a negative - but something to be aware of going in.

The movie is NOT light years better or different than the Joss Whedon theatrical cut. It is indeed better and substantially different in parts, but all of the big action set pieces are the same and the key character moments are still pretty much intact and where they were before. There are cosmetic changes (the final act is color graded the way Snyder grades all of his stuff, in grays and deep blacks (as opposed to the red that Joss colored it) and the editing is a bit different here and there - but the big hero key shots are almost all the same.

The movie still doesn't hold a candle to any of the Avengers movies, including the much maligned but underrated (IMO) Age of Ultron.

The movie loses a lot of the humor "Joss" writing, including my favorite scene where Aquaman spills his soul by accidentally sitting on Wonder Woman's lasso. While many nerds will likely rejoice at the loss of humorous moments, I am not one of them. I love to laugh in general, and I always appreciate funny but grounded humor in superhero flicks. It's a shame to lose some of Joss' gems throughout.

Most infuriating for me - the movie is in a 4:3 aspect ratio with giant black bars on the sides of the picture. I had to stop the movie five minutes in and google what was happening - apparently Zack Snyder talked himself into believing that this was the best way to present his vision of the film. My question is - how far up your own ass do you have to be as a filmmaker to think that 4:3 is the way to go anywhere outside of an Imax theater for a superhero movie? Pretty far up is the answer.

Forgive me for harping on this - but I'm going to harp. I stopped the movie and googled "Justice Leage 4:3" and instantly it auto filled to "Justice League 4:3 aspect ratio Snyder cut) and gave me article after article of Zack Snyder's reasoning for this choice.

I just about lost it when I hit his quote about it being the gold standard and that Citizen Kane was shot in 4:3. Zack. I admire you very much as a filmmaker. I love a couple of your movies, like a few more and think that the rest are mediocre. Movie making is hard, I get it, I certainly couldn't do what you do. But for the love of God - because the Wizard of Oz and other cinematic legendary movies were shot in 4:3 in the 1930's and 40's doesn't mean that you should be doing that, ever.

Damaged Legacy

 Random train of thought - I greatly enjoyed the documentary "Best of Enemies" about the ground breaking televised debates between conservative Buckley and the liberal Gore Vidal. (Though I do have issues with the documentary's conclusions)

This whole Trump supporters defiling the capitol building reminds me in a way of those debates. Vidal spent 90% of those debates being nasty to Buckley, always getting personal, calling him a crypto-nazi among other many insults. Buckley remained above the fray, refusing to give in.

Then towards the end, after a particularly nasty personal attack by Vidal, Buckley had had enough and finally lashed out with the nastiest attack of all - "listen, queer, I will sock you in your God damn mouth.."

And the needle went off the record, and the room and the media and the American public were AGHAST. How could Buckley stoop so low? How could he do such an AWFUL thing?

Yeah, that's pretty much where we're at with this. The radical left spends most of 2020 taking a giant steaming shit on our country, and finally Trump supporters (most of them clowns) lash out and it's Bill Buckley all over again.

Buckley was wrong to say those things, these ding-dongs in the capitol were wrong to do what they did (and many will rot in jail as they should) - but in the end, that's what the media and consequently the majority of the American public will remember.

They remember that Vidal came out on top, because Buckley lost his cool. Never mind that Vidal had his ass handed to him throughout the entire series of debates, over and over - in the end it didn't matter. Look at the CRAZY conservative! Good job Gore Vidal! You won! lol...

In the end, I fear that this is what we have here as well. Trump delivered 4 years of incredible prosperity, roaring economy, lowest unemployment in half a century (lowest EVER for blacks), peace in the Middle East, mediation with North Korea, and on and on and on.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Look at the guy in the viking hat in the halls of congress. Biden won! Good job Joe! You really showed them!

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

More than just a game show host.

So 2020 sucked.  And the coup de gras' on the shit sandwich that was last year was the passing of the legendary Alex Trebek.

There have been a great number of tributes already, and no doubt the final week of episodes which will be airing this week will unearth more - I wanted to take the time to add my tiny voice to the chorus.

I'm old enough to remember my mom telling me that one of her favorite shows was coming back on the air, a game show called "Jeopardy!".   We watched it and enjoyed it, and would watch it again.  My mom said this new host didn't compare to the original, but overall it seemed worthwhile.

"Jeopardy!"  had originally aired from 1964-1975 and it was hosted then by a man named Art Fleming, and it had been hugely successful in a noon time slot on NBC.  It's numbers only faltered when it was removed from that time slot and it was cancelled shortly after this executive blunder.

To compensate the show's creator, Merv Griffin, NBC switched in a new show called "Wheel of Fortune" later that very same year.  My mom detested Wheel.  And in fact to this day detests almost all of television except for baseball with the Oakland A's.  

So when she started watching the new "Jeopardy!" I was surprised but pleased that my mom would sit down and watch television with me that wasn't sports.  Neither my mom nor I knew at the time, but the very reason "Jeopardy!" was brought back was to piggyback on the wild success of "Wheel of Fortune".

As we watched those first seasons, I am able remember that I was terrible at the game and that my mom was much better than me.

Slowly the years passed, and I did get better and also grew to appreciate the show more and more.  Eventually as an adult I could hold my own again my mom, but I never passed the online test - though I've had half a dozen people in my life (ranging from good friends to acquaintances) who have been on and even some who made some money.   My mom eventually did get around to conceding that Alex was just as good (maybe even a little bit better) than Art Fleming.

When Alex passed away, we all knew it was coming, and yet somehow it was still shocking.   New shows were still airing, and he seemed on camera to be the Alex we had always known.  A bit grayer, a bit more hoarse, but the energy and the twinkle remained.

Come to find out, he had just finished taping a bunch of shows and passed away only 10 days after wrapping.  Shocking indeed.

But pancreatic cancer is one of the nastiest diseases there is in a family of diseases that is the absolute worst, and it turns out that the man who appeared to us on television for over 35 years as a great sage of wisdom and a font of firm but fair treatment to all who played his game - was in the end, only human.

That he would die so abruptly, without warning (even though we certainly had been warned) hit everyone hard.

Sure it was "just a game show" and Alex was in the end just a game show host.  But looking at the totality of his work, of his life - it seems to me that he was a lot more.

Alex was to me, the very embodiment of the American dream.  First and foremost, he was an immigrant.  Second, he worked extremely hard to get where he was - starting out as a utility player for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, he worked endlessly announcing and hosting just about every show available to him at one time or another, all the while going to college at the same time.

In 1973 Alex moved to the US and began hosting a string of successful game shows, including two I remember very well - "High Rollers" and "Pitfall".  The man never stopped - at one point, even after he had been hosting "Jeopardy!" for a few years he was also hosting two other game shows at the same time - "Classic Concentration" and "To Tell the Truth".

Third, perhaps the most American of all, he slowly but surely became a national treasure by hosting the very best game show in the very best way.  He was firm but fair and exuded confidence without ever being overbearing or insufferable the way some of the best of his colleagues couldn't avoid.

And he outlasted them all, save one - Mr. Sajack who was clearly fed up with his job decades ago and still is snotty to his contestants.

But more than being calm and cool, Alex was at the helm of a show that exemplified what is great about the good ol' US of A.

Jeopardy is calmly and coolly, just like Alex - all about being the very best, in this case the best of "trivia" which is actually a massive amount of general information that we as worldly people should aspire to consume and retain.

It really is beyond a game show - it is a showcase of exceptionalism.  A mixture of hard work (learning what you need to know), physical ability in timing (gotta get on that buzzer quick!) and a bit of luck - it's ALL about the categories!   If I as a poker player and Star Wars nerd got "Sci-Fi Movies" and "Vegas Gaming" as categories I would be much happier than if I got "Latin Broadway Musicals" (an actual category from a rerun the other night).  I do know musicals pretty well, but the latin part stumped me!

It's tough to communicate why the show has grown so large in importance to me and to our country over the years  - I feel like I'm falling very short of giving reasons why it matters.  And why Alex mattered so much in this equation.

So now's the part where some of you may get mad at me - because I have to spell it out.  

I will NOT say it has to do with politics - because in my view what is happening to our country has nothing to do with policies or even ultimately politicians.  

My issue with the way things are going with our country and why I love "Jeopardy!" so much is all of the marxist garbage that has migrated from college campuses into the real world is absolutely refuted by a show like "Jeopardy!" and by a man like Alex.

Let me say this - in a world where the values of hard work and determination are now facing push-back as somehow unjust or even somehow racist (yes, this is an actual thing now) - "Jeopardy!" for me has become a reassuring bedrock of reliability as a venue where excellence still matters.

Being on time is not "colonialism".  Turning your work in on time is not "a value of whiteness".  Striving to be the best is something we as a nation, and as a world for that matter, should always hold up as admirable.

"Jeopardy!" is a firm and unwavering statement against the forces of idiotic "wokeism" that has infected our youth and gone from college campuses to the mainstream in only a few short years.    

Alex embodied this refutation until his last breath.   My favorite line of his that he would use often when the first round commenced was "Let's go to work."  Indeed.

No one could say it better or mean it more.  Alex was and will forever be a national treasure, and Jeopardy hopefully will continue on for many years to come.   Whoever ends up hosting, and I'm praying it's not the shrill and panicky Ken Jennings (not to mention his awful politics which he loves sharing on twitter) - but rather someone, anyone, who can keep things calm and sensible, without turning over yet another treasured institution to the social justice nonsense that is breaking our country and breaking my heart.

For now and hopefully forever, Alex Trebek will stand as far more than just a game show host.  He will be remembered as the cool and calm Canadian who came to the US and helmed one of the biggest and best legacies in television history.   

A tv show that became far greater than just a tv show - it is an institution and a statement against mediocrity and destructive group think.  One that our country needs now more than ever.

Whoever steps into Alex's shoes, I do pray for them - to stay strong, stay mostly silent on twitter, and to keep the faith in hard work and the pursuit of objective excellence.

2nd Row right to left - me, my mom, my wife and my brother - watching the legend!

This is the Way

 So if you're a 50 year old like me, who actually saw the first ever Star Wars movie in the theater, you likely have enjoyed The Mandalorian very much and see it as a return to what made the franchise great.

As an aging nerd, there's lots to love. The show clings closely to the production design of the original films and also has a great economy of story and character that echoes the best moments of the movies we remember most fondly.

In 1977 I was dragged into the theater by my mom after she gave a hard pass to seeing a Disney cartoon, "The Rescuers" - I was upset that I couldn't watch cartoon mice - but I quickly changed my tune.  I will never forget seeing that Star Destroyer pass overhead at the beginning of the movie.  It was a moment forever burned into my 6 year old brain that I can still see clearly today.  It was the beginning of a life long love for blockbuster entertainment and the impetus for me to try and get involved in any way I could, as an adult, into an occupation connected to movies and/or tv.

And I think ultimately, the big reason The Mandalorian has hit home so hard and strong with us Gen X people, is that the images burned into our brains have been there now going on 40 years.  It's hard to escape being enthralled with a tv series that is so technically superb at bringing those etched-in pictures back to life.  

But as blown away as I and others my age have been, the generation before us must be completely out of their minds.  These are kids, now adults, who literally watched the original trilogy on VHS when they were still in diapers.  They then came of age right as a second wave of Star Wars movies hit the theaters.

And although my generation did it's level best to crap all over these movies as much and as loud as we could, ultimately we failed to dampen the love for George's prequels.  It is very obvious at this point, if you pay attention at all to the social media of young people, that Episodes 1-3 are not only finally being openly appreciated, but that there is a deep and protective love for little Annie, Jar-Jar and all the rest of the problematic gang.

And although I've only noticed this love recently, I can gain understanding from my 16 year old daughter that the love has been there for a LONG time.  Since the beginning really.  Gen X decided we would act exactly like Baby Boomers and make everything about us - and in the end it didn't matter because the prequels weren't made for us at all, they were made for the next generations of kids.  George knew this, even though the unwavering determination of Gen X to be miserable about the prequels certainly hurt his feelings to some extent, in the end I think he recognizes that ultimately all the bile has less to do with the prequels themselves and ultimately more to do with the boring truth that you can never go home again.

Well, the genius that is Dave Filoni came along when George wanted to flesh out the timeline between episodes 2 and 3 in the form of an animated series called the Clone Wars, and he managed to help build a very impressive and massive amount of stories that went a long way to greatly improve the importance and emotional power of the prequels.

And it makes sense right?  The prequels amount to less than 8 hours of story telling, the Clone Wars animated series has nearly 50 hours to play with.  Even if Filoni wasn't as great of a story teller as he is, it would be pretty hard not to improve the prequel legacy with such a large amount of time to build and expand with.

But the good, or rather great, news was - Filoni is a master story teller, who cut his teeth on the impressive Avatar: The Last Airbender animated show (that my daughter made me watch and I'm glad I did) and then came in and gave an enormous kick in the pants to Star Wars universe with a massively rich array of characters and satisfying character arcs in the form of an expertly animated series.  And then he did it again with another animated series called "Rebels".

Flash forward a year or two and John Favreau, the brilliant fellow behind the amazing movie "Elf" and the genesis of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with the original "Iron Man" - is tasked with a live action Star Wars series, and who does he bring on right from the beginning?  The genius who took a deep appreciation for the prequels and turned it into an animation juggarnaut,.

Oh, I guess I failed to mention that Filoni loves the prequels.  I suppose it would be an obvious qualification for someone whose job it was to tell a story between episodes 2 and 3, but the anger for the prequels runs so deep in people my age that it would be an easy thing to ignore.

Filoni, truly and deeply LOVES the prequels, and more than once has publicly and loudly gone to the matt for George's maligned movies.  The most impressive defense of the prequels I've ever seen is in the Mandalorian documentary series on Disney+. Filoni at the directors round table talks unedited for a solid 12 minutes about why the lightsaber duel between Qui-gon Jin/Obi-wan and Darth Maul is the most important fight in  the Star Wars saga, and it's truly impressive.   His love and knowledge of the prequels, and his expert breakdown of why they matter so much - it has to be seen to be believed.

And so Mr. Filoni brought this passion and expertise to the Mandalorian, and thank God he did because the show it turns out is not only great nostalgia and fan service for us 50 year old curmudgeons who stubbornly insist on only appreciating the movies that were around when we were kids, but the show is actually a massive continuation and enhancement of ALL of George Lucas' Star Wars.  And the show is all the richer for it.

Filoni's deep love and massive talent for ALL the Star Wars, permeates the show.  From the "Roger Roger" droid parts in a sand crawler, to an aborted Snoke clone in stasis.  But production design isn't the only all-encompassing embrace of Lucas.   Character after character can be connected to the prequels and even some to the sequels, which is now the new whipping boy flavor of the month of the Gen X hate parade.

Bo Katan, a beloved Clone Wars character, showed up this season in episode 3 and millennials lost their minds.  The very next show, Ahsoka Tano, another Clone Wars giant (the only character from that show on par in importance with Anakin and Obi-wan) finally made her long rumored appearance and the collective orgasm across the nerd-verse was heard and felt far and wide.

These massive waves of pleasure were so HUGE that they couldn't help but put cracks in the armor of us cranky asshole fans - yes the 50 year olds who insist on acting like babies with every new Star Wars product.  Next thing I know, I'm seeing reaction videos on YouTube of overweight balding guys like me wetting themselves as Katie Sackhoff (Bo Katan) and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka Tano) show up.

Really dudes?  You hated the prequels, you poo-poohed the Clone Wars 'cartoon' and now you're on board? Ok , boomer or gen Xer or whatever.

Whatever indeed.  I'm actually ok with my generation now, despite being fickle and bitter beyond reason at the arrival of 3 brand new Star Wars feature films in 1999-2005, and then again over the past 5 years with 3 even better feature films. The Mandalorian and Dave Filoni have disarmed a lot of that cynical anger in one fell swoop.

Season 1 of The Mandalorian was a well crafted set-up, a serialized western that followed 'The Man With No Name" across the galaxy as he rescued a kid (take that asshole Gen Xers who hate little Annie) and protected him.

Season 2 was the spectacular payoff which to the casual eye would seem to be fan service in the extreme, but to a Star Wars fan - be it a cynical old fatty or a wide eyed youngster with a Jar-Jar stuffy, it was deliverance on a biblical scale.

And it has cut across the generations.  The youtube reaction videos this morning after the season 2 finale are full of 20somethings through 60somethings, all with tears of joy in their eyes. I can't help but be watery eyed myself doing the ultimate dumb thing of the 21st century - watching other people react to something I've already seen.

And now it's time for SPOILERS - so if you haven't digested all 16 episodes of the Mandalorian series you should stop now and come back when you're done.

The people my age and older on youtube who are this morning blubbering tears of joy - think they are doing so because Luke Skywalker showed up.  While this is a big part of it, the bigger part is that the emotions are not only rooted in a single character from a movie that's 44 years old - it's THE character from a massive saga that spans all of those years in ever emerging and flourishing content with far more stories than just three and far more characters than just the holy trinity (Luke, Lea and Han).

Take away the prequels, take away the Clone Wars and Rebels, and take away the sequels.  Now try to imagine a show like Mandalorian existing, pretty tough.  Then try to imagine if it somehow had come to exist and then think about Luke Skywalker showing  up in the season finale. Yes, it still would have been pretty cool - but it wouldn't be the ocean of joyful tears that we are seeing right now.  

I have no doubt in my mind that the focus would've been more on the CGI and less on the return of the character - the opposite of the reaction today.

But the reason Mandalorian works, and the reason Skywalker's appearance was so knee-buckling, is because we have been living through constantly emerging and evolving Star Wars content for 4 decades.

That many of us have been needlessly nasty about most if not all of that content, is pretty despicable.

I've said it many times before but it bears repeating.  No one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans.

And yet, here we are - all but the nastiest of us have abandoned the dark side (for now) and have returned to loving Star Wars again.   All thanks to Favreau and Filoni and their incredible team of artists.

It is a great morning to be a Star Wars fan that's for sure.

And my fondest hope is that when the next piece of content comes out that doesn't meet the expectations of my generation, my generation for once could maybe shut the fuck up a bit instead of gnashing their teeth and wringing their hands like a little bitch.

Star Wars does not belong to us and we are entitled to nothing.

You are certainly able to criticize if you feel a story falls short, certainly I did with "Rise of Skywalker" but there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

When you want to voice displeasure - do it with respect, do it with thoughtfulness and do it without questioning the heart and character of people like George Lucas or Kathleen Kennedy or whoever else is creating content.  

If you see a Star Wars movie or tv show that you don't care for as nothing more than a cynical cash grab - you and not the creator are the problem.  All movies and television shows are a "cash grab" in that none of them would exist if there wasn't a profit to be made.

Grow up and recognize this first before you get out the knives to eviscerate the character of someone you know nothing about.  Or rather, you are ignoring the one thing that you do know - that they unequivocally love Star Wars and wouldn't be creating Star Wars content if they didn't.

Rick Berman got it in Star Trek and George Lucas got it in Star Wars - an irrational hatred from the fan base that is rooted in their own inability to recapture the magic from childhood and has little to do with the thoughts or feelings of grown ass men and women who are trying their best to create a story in a creative universe that they love and is also loved by millions more.

Sometimes they screw up.  Sometimes they fall short. Sometimes they don't have the time they need to do justice to the story that came before (Rise of Skywalker I'm looking at you).  But never, is a creator giving thought to how they can most thoroughly rape your childhood.

Let's all get over ourselves and yes, embrace the feels of great joy when they succeed wildly (Mandolorian Season 2 Finale) and thoughtfully criticize when it's necessary.  Hopefully in that criticism we can use the sandwich technique and couch it in what we did like.  Much more productive and helpful than just shitting all over something because it makes you feel better.  That's not what fans do, that's what bitter babies do.

Example;  Rise of Skywalker has many fantastic and emotional moments even though it drastically shortchanges characters like Finn and Rose and often feels rushed and not very well thought out.  The Palpatine re-emergence and lineage especially feel out of left field and are disappointing developments because they appear to be retconning bold choices made in the previous film.  Thankfully there's still enough great moments to off-set these shortcomings.  Enough that I still ended up enjoying the movie.  And I for sure love the sequels and pray that some how this is not the last time we see these characters.

See?  It's not that hard.  I could do an even harsher criticism for Episode 1 The Phantom Menace, as I truly feel that is by far the weakest Star Wars movie - but again, my love for Star Wars goes so deep I couldn't bear to do it without pointing out what did work and what I liked.

I can't imagine writing an entirely negative screed, or even worse going on youtube and ranting non-stop about how much I hated Episode 1, even if I did genuinely despise the film - which I don't.

There is only one of these movies that truly dislike, and that is "Nemisis" - not  Star Wars.  It's Star Trek, the other great sci-fi love of my life.  That is a truly awful movie.  I would be hard pressed to say much positive about it.  The sandwich technique probably wouldn't soften the blow too much.  But I don't waste my time thinking about it, pretty much at all.  I likely haven't thought of that film at all in over a decade.  I'm almost positive as I'm writing this that the movie "Nemisis" literally hasn't entered my brain in 10 years.  Whereas the average Star Wars hater, or you could say the average 50 year old Star Wars "fan" probably thinks of Last Jedi and Phantom Menace all the time.

But, still,  I don't hold the awfulness of "Nemisis" against the creators, including Brent Spiner and Patrick Stewart who had a hand in the story.  I certainly forgive them and still hold them in high regard. And in the end - if I'm ever flipping channels and stumble across "Nemisis", I likely somehow won't start screaming at the sky.  I'll probably crack a smile and maybe even watch it for a few minutes.  Maybe.   It is a truly God awful movie.  But I'm looking forward to watching the new show that is out right now called "Picard" and I would certainly love it if they incorporated the "Nemisis" story line, and that would no doubt make the last Star Trek feature film (and the franchise as a whole) that much stronger.

So I didn't really mean to make this a rant about Star Wars fans - as insufferable as they can be - but I think I've made my point.

Star Wars is wonderful and amazing - and when it's at it's best it can even be transcendent.

Let's hold on to that transcendence and love in our hearts and remember that it won't always be this great - and when it isn't - it's okay to lead with kindness and a be a positive "force" instead of being a ranting dickhead.

Oh yeah - and when that green lightsaber busted out I was like "Daaayum!  Luke!!!!"   That was awesome!

       

TOS - 1.06

Mudd's women was the sixth episode broadcast on Star Trek The Original Series (TOS) - airing on October 13, 1966.

This one I understand is a fan favorite, widely acknowledged as a classic - primarily for the impressive and memorable performance of guest star Roger Carmel as the title character.

I can agree that Mr. Roger is formidable, and very much iconic in the Star Trek canon.  But I'm afraid the rest of this episode falls far down my list of TOS shows that hold up to a critical and/or modern eye.

I can certainly appreciate the intent behind the "message" of the episode - beauty that is only skin-deep ultimately is meaningless.  At least I'm pretty sure that's what Rodenberry (who conceived the story) was trying to say here.

And look, I get it - it is undeniably a historical truth that beautiful women have been at the crux of many conflicts and wars over the years.  Yes, beautiful women can turn men into simpering animals; but this show is so ham-handed about it, it's pretty much cringe from beginning to end.

I've watched this show twice before writing this - and I must say, I really can't understand what happens to Mudd's ship at the beginning.  The Enterprise is chasing him through space, and Mudd's ship breaks up or something (for no real reason) and they beam aboard him and then the women - who immediately turn the crew into slack-jawed horn-dogs.  Ok.  It's not particularly written or acted well, and it's not at all intentionally funny which is a real shame.

And then it turns out Mudd is trafficking the women to become wives of miners on some random planet. Um, anyone find this objectionable?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Apparently sex trafficking is a thing in the future and Kirk and co. are ok with it, even if they don't like Mudd.  

Then a ticking clock is clumsily thrown in with the last dilithium crystal cracking.  Shout out to the first appearance of the mother-effing Dilithium Crystal up in this biznatch.

So then we are down on the planet in some different show where random guest actors play the miners and all the sudden it's Seven Brides for Seven Brothers with everything but the song and dance.  Oh those Sobbin' Women!

And then there's a Venus Drug which creates illusionary beauty and now the women are ugly or something, but they're not - it's just less make-up and different lighting.  An intriguing an idea, much like the rest of this episode, that unfortunately is not elegantly pulled off at all.

And in the end, the women are content to stay with the miners and one of them even goes so far to tell Kirk that (paraphrasing) "Sorry, we can't bone because you've got this lady up there called 'Enterprise"  Yes, that's pretty much the actual dialogue.

I'll repeat - I don't mind what Gene Roddenberry was trying to say - at least I think what he was trying to say; that beauty is temporary and to some extent subjective, and that what matters is a deeper human connection.  That's all good, and I think if you watch this episode closely and pay attention that's the message that you'll get.  However, you reeeeally have to pay attention - and that's very difficult considering how slow this episode is.   Like I mentioned, I watched it twice and I'm still not sure I'm right about what the show was trying to say.

The Iron Lady and The Crown

 Have been greatly enjoying the Crown on Netflix, but I do have one tiny nitpick - I'm a bit disappointed that their portrayal of Margaret Thatcher is once again bordering and often crossing over into cartoon territory. I say again because the first time was that dreadful Meryl Streep movie that failed spectacularly at showing what was so amazing about the Iron Lady.

Gillian Anderson does an amazing job disappearing into the character - so bravo to her - but I can't help but feel a bit deflated as the show often falls back on leftist myths about Thatcher to boost it's own progressive outlook.

I was happy with the first episode featuring Thatcher, it expertly showed exactly what was great about the prime minister with a wonderful portrayal of her famously disastrous visit at Balmoral. I loved how the episode had us sympathizing with Maggie and portrayed the Royal family as they can be, infuriatingly elitist.

But this last episode we watched, which went into great detail about the nutcase who broke into the queen's bedroom and made a great effort to portray him as sympathetic because he was mad at the politics of Thatcher, just very disappointing.

I'm not saying there isn't an argument to be made for a balanced and fair portrayal of what Thatcher's policies did to the country - but this was all pandering to the left. I doubt very much the queen in real life would find such a sympathetic portrayal of a nutcase (yes, when you break into Buckingham Palace you are screwy in the head) acceptable.

I still love the show, but it's at it's best when it recognizes that the Royals and the government and Great Britian as a whole are complicated - that it's not just a matter of a war mongering heartless conservative at Downing Street, but there's actually a lot more going on than the simple, Berkeley-tinged historical revisionism. Margaret Thatcher was a remarkable and entirely formidable woman, who brought her country back from the abyss of socialism and much like Reagan re-instilled a pride of country and exceptionalism. She deserves much better than the Crown gave her in episode 5.

TOS - 1.05

 "The Enemy Within" is the fifth episode broadcast of Star Trek The Original Series, airing first on October 6, 1966.

This is another winner in my mind - it holds up very well and introduces us to a trope that would be played over and over in the Star Trek universe.  My favorite variation of this is the "Mirror Universe" episodes that Deep Space Nine would perfect several decades later.

Kirk gets beamed back up, but due to transporter mumbo-jumbo he is split in two.  The "good" Kirk comes back first and is disoriented so they take him to sickbay.  Naturally the transporter room is left empty, lol wut, and "evil" Kirk shows up.

Billy Shatner absolutely tears it up with his performance as the Kirk Id gone wild!  Love his scenery chewing and over the top emoting, good stuff!

Less effective is the sub-plot to explain to the audience what is going on with a ridiculous doggie in a costume.

Though it is a useful device to give us the "ticking clock" that we need to have enhanced jeopardy and peril.  The dog dies - and so will Kirk if we don't figure this out!

The sub-sub-plot, with Sulu and his homies "chilling out" on the frozen at night planet, is also effective in pushing the stakes higher.  Too bad they don't have a shuttle craft or something...

The climax of the story is pretty awesome, with both the good and bad Kirk facing off on the bridge - it's genuinely exciting and also very satisfying when Spock and the gang easily recognize who the bad guy really is.

Also great is that good Kirk ends up actually persuading bad Kirk that they both need each other.  Another great Star Trek moment!

Also also, the less said about Yeoman Rand and her post-assault attempt to chummy up to restored Kirk at the end, the better.

So yeah, this one is probably not a top ten, but it for sure falls on the winning side.  A great plot device, that once again Twilight Zone did first - but Star Trek really masters it, and yes, uses the story again and again over the years.

Up next - one of my LEAST favorite TOS episodes ever - "Mudd's Women". Boy I really can't stand that episode!  But I'm in the middle of watching it for a second time, just so I'm really sure to give it a fair shake.  Stay tuned!

TOS - 1.04

 "The Naked Time" - is the fourth episode of Star Trek: The Original Series to air, broadcasting on September 29, 1966

This is what I believe to be the very first Star Trek episode that starts to approach greatness.  The pacing is quicker than previous episodes and the story holds together extremely well, from the first scene through almost the very end.

This is also the very first episode in this series of reviews that I specifically remember watching as a kid.  Star Trek in the mid/late 1970's was on in syndication at all hours - I'm sure I watched this show after school and also on weekends.

I remember very specific and vivid images - the striking frozen people in the opening scene.  Sulu with a sword, of course!  Riley's singing and also his line about "ice cream for the whole crew" stick out in my mind as well.  But more than anything I remember how shocking it was to see Spock struggle not to cry.  Now that made an impact!

Yes, it is true - my deep love for this show, and the visceral reaction I get from watching it even as a nearly 50 year old man, has roots deep in my childhood.  I know for a fact that I had the Mego action figures, which were released not when the show originally aired, as a relatively low rated prime time network drama, but as a daytime syndicated science fiction serial (that wasn't serialized) for kids and teenagers.

I had all the main character figures, but my friends Sean and Terry had the bridge play-set!  I remember going to their house in Key West and having space battles and melodrama on this fantastic plastic coated cardboard masterpiece...

It's hard to tell from the picture, but on the left there was a working transporter!  You put the figure in, and used the blue knob on top to spin the chamber.  The figure would spin and the yellow lines created an optical illusion that the figure was "beaming" away.  Push the red button and the spinning stopped and Spock was GONE!

Anyways - I hope this conveys that Star Trek (along with Star Wars, which I saw on it's first theatrical run) was kind of a big deal to me as a kid.

But unlike other franchises that I also enjoyed, Land of the Lost, Banana Splits, The Brady Bunch, among others.  Star Trek is really the only one left that I can watch today as a grown-up and enjoy not only as a nostalgia tonic, but I can appreciate it as well for it's quality and still enjoy it on it's own merits.

"The Naked Time" is the first of a dozen or so Star Trek TOS episodes that really holds up as something special.  It is well paced, well structured and also has a sizable amount of intentional humor that works wonderfully.

It also has a great use of a ticking clock to build tension and excitement - with Riley locking himself in the engine room and shutting the engines down cold, we really start to worry if the Enterprise can get themselves out of this absurd and yet also scary mess of drunk people running around all over the ship.

If this episode has a flaw, for me it's really the tacked on scene at the end involving time travel.  Wikipedia explains that originally this was to be a two part episode, with the final scene setting up the second half which eventually became the episode "Tomorrow is Yesterday".   The scene was re-written so that Naked Time could be a stand-alone.  Whether or not that directive was from the network or not, who knows.  But I do know there's only one 2 parter in TOS, and that was "The Menagerie" which was an ingenious re-working of the original unaired pilot.

So yes, this episode is one of my favorites.  I'm compiling a top ten as I watch this show, and this one is the first so far that I think will easily qualify.

TOS - 1.03

 "Where No Man Has Gone Before" is the third Star Trek TOS episode to air and is actually the SECOND pilot of the show.  It originally aired on September 22, 1966.

The first pilot was rejected by NBC and had originally starred Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Pike.  Star Trek was given a second chance and Mr. Hunter declined to jump back on board so they re-casted The Shat as James R. Kirk (after the this second pilot it would be changed to James T. Kirk) and the rest as we know is history.

There's a lot here that looks and feels different from the first two Trek episodes to air.  The uniforms are largely left over from the first pilot - baggy tan tunics - and there are missing cast members, most notably Bones (the ship's doctor instead played by Paul Fix) and Uhura.  The ship itself also looks different and would not be dialed in until the regular series got picked up and started filming.   There's also a bad-ass phaser rifle that we never get to see again.

This episode is fairly intriguing and certainly not as weak as the insufferable "Charlie X" or the nearly unwatchable and upcoming "Mudd's Women"   I really like the interplay between Kirk and his helmsman Gary Mitchell (played by Gary Lockwood) - the addition of Dr. Dehner (played by the versatile and prodigious working actor Sally Kellerman) also adds an interesting dynamic that keeps us engaged.  Dig those groovy glitter eyeballs!

Gary Lockwood's very next gig after this one was across the pond in the UK in a little movie called "2001: A Space Odessy" that you might've heard of.

Best of all, the episode concludes with a knock-down drag-out bareknuckle fist-fight between Kirk and Mitchell,  choreographed in that sixties western brand of violence and action that we all remember from shows like "Big Valley" and "Bonanza".   Well, I remember it, because I'm old.

There are also missteps and slow patches here and there - Gary's transformation is well paced and compelling, until it's not and suddenly he declares himself a god and we're off to the races.  Paul Fix as the predecessor to Bones McCoy seems disinterested and non-plussed throughout which is unintentionally hilarious at times.   And of course don't forget the crew body count - Spock's casual mention that nine crew members were killed when the Enterprise crosses the galaxy barrier puts the total at 12 which crazily enough is actually the record for a single TOS episode.

But overall, this one is a winner.  It's got a romantic angle that is intriguing, and it's got genuine suspense and plenty of action.  Most of all I am grateful to this episode - because it's the show that convinced ABC to make Star Trek a regular series.  My understanding is that Lucille Ball played a big part in that final decision and for that reason, I will always Love Lucy.

TOS - 1.02

 The second episode of Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) to air, "Charlie X",  features a scenery chewing guest performance by Robert Walker as the obviously alien and super-powered Charlie Evans.

I must say, before I delve into the many absurdities of this particular story, I do indeed love TOS and I hope my "reviews" of these shows don't come across as too negative.  The story telling of many episodes (not so much this one) is often inspiring and the three main characters are as well fleshed out as any main protagonists on television or in the movies today.

That said, there is a whole lot of nonsense in "Charlie X"

Where to begin?   How about we start with the "singing performance" of Nichelle Nichols as the normally stoic and brave Lt. Uhura.   TOS has many "cringe" moments over it's three seasons, this is the first truly big one.  Uhura's song isn't so much a song as it is a warbling, random, sing-song nonsense diatribe about astronauts and moon beams.  It goes on interminably long and then, infuriatingly - Yeoman Rand blurts out "One more time!"   Oh God.  No.  Just NO.

And if one massive cringe scene wasn't enough - then we have Shatner's pants as he attempts to teach Charlie how to judo.   I need eye bleach after this scene.  Unfortunately some things cannot remain unseen.  And if I have to suffer - so do you.

And finally perhaps the most cringe of all - Charlie slaps Yeoman Rand on the ass, much to her consternation.  And though she is upset she doesn't say what she should say - "Hey!  That is completely unacceptable.  Don't ever do that again.  Do not touch me, stay away from me." or similar - and that unfortunately is understandable because this show was made over 50 years ago.  But what I can't abide or understand is that when Kirk finds out what happened - he too is unable to tell Charlie what needs to be said!  He doesn't say "You don't ever do that.  It's completely unacceptable.  You need to apologize and promise it will never happen again" or similar.  I understand the show is old fashioned but really, Kirk's silence on this matter, be it his uncomfortableness with the situation or whatever it is - is pretty unsettling.

So after nearly half an hour of Charlie obviously using his powers (and again, apparently killing people left and right) it finally begins to dawn on the ever oblivious crew that something's not right with Charlie.  Just when it all seems to go to shit, the aliens finally show up and transport Charlie away and casually mention that all the disappeared people have returned.  Indeed Yeoman Rand shows up at the end, in what is actually an otherwise effecting final scene, as Charlie is whisked away to be with his alien benefactors.  Yeoman Rand cries for him, apparently ass-slappers are endearing or something.

Yes, this is my least favorite episode of the show out of the half dozen so far that I've watched.  The Charlie character is written to be annoying - and mission accomplished. I don't know if I feel better or worse that the sexist dialogue and situations here were written by a woman - DC Fontana, though the original story pitch was Mr. Rodenberry's.

But I guess I should recognize this plot set the template for a lot of similar situations in the future.  Charlie is indeed the original "Q" character who would show up on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Once again the show also suffers from interminable pacing problems.  The good news is, that many very good to great episodes coming up do not.  This one however, is pretty much a turkey and had my mind wandering and my body shifting uncomfortably more than once.

  

TOS - 1.01

 In these final months of quarantine (hopefully) I've started to binge Star Trek - TOS. TOS would be The Original Series.

I'm skipping "The Cage" for now, as it was the original pilot, and it never aired. It surfaced in the early 1990's as part of the original TOS release on DVD. I'm going through in broadcast order, I'll watch "The Cage" when I'm done with TOS.

Episode 1, season 1. "The Man Trap".

The story starts off compellingly enough, but soon starts to fall apart as a choppy structure falls pray to what would be a continuing problem with TOS - the good captain and his crew are VERY slow on the uptake and figuring out what is going on.

Also, another continuing issue I have with the series - the crew members truly are disposable. Very little thought or concern for dead crewman and women as the bodies pile up. In this episode alone I counted at least 4 dead Enterprise personnel. Kirk is concerned but only to a point that serves the narrative. We never feel the impact that a real human death should warrant.

I also feel the show suffers greatly from our modern attention spans. This, and all TOS Star Trek episodes, is upwards of 49 minutes long! Considering a modern network hour can be as short as 39:30 (source: yours truly who has delivered hour long network programming) - that's a BIG difference! Of course many shows on streaming services are an hour without commercials - BUT, they typically only have 10 episodes (or 8) per season. Each season of ST TOS had to deliver 29 episodes!

The length of time really shows in this episode, as there are several scenes that feel very padded and could have easily been trimmed or cut altogether. Other, stronger episodes coming up in the series don't feel nearly as glacial.

It's interesting that this is the very first episode that aired on television - as it was filmed not only after the 2nd Pilot, but after four other episodes as well. I've read a few times in different sources that the network went with "Man Trap" because it was more action heavy than the other episodes that were finished.

The wikipedia articlele linked here mentions that this episode got a 25 rating (which would leave a top rated network show in the dust in 2020) with almost half of all televisions that were turned on being tuned into Star Trek. Although the ratings would go on to slip, especially in the second season, there were still tens of millions of people watching Star Trek every week.

I'm not shocked that it became such a cultural phenomenon, when you look at the sheer number of eyeballs that saw every episode. Even though Star Trek has long been talked about in terms of "low ratings" we have to remember that back in the day the ratings were indeed low, but only in comparison to other network shows. Today, these same numbers would be almost Super Bowl sized.

The monster at the end is pretty cool - as dated as it is by lack of articulation or wet surfaces - the design is both delightfully shocking and vulgar.

Star Trek has arrived - and for all of the episodes problems that I outlined, there are also a ton of positives.

All three lead characters, Kirk, Spock & McCoy arrive already very flushed out and dimensional. The ship itself has a fairly believable layout and operating procedures. The production design, while not without it's budgetary shortfalls, is still very effective in establishing a pleasing and compelling aesthetic.

And as much as I have harped on how slow the story was - it nonetheless remained compelling throughout. I may have had the desire to check my phone a few times, but I never felt anywhere near compelled to simply turn off the show. I did have to stick around and see how it played out. Both the wife and kid did drift in and out of the room, but they both by the end were seated and watching.

Not a bad endorsement of a show that is now over 50 years old!

Stay tuned - I'm hoping to write one of these "reviews" (really it's more of a minor critique along with praise and informational parts) once a week or so. The master plan is to binge all three seasons of this still very remarkable show.