This is the Way

 So if you're a 50 year old like me, who actually saw the first ever Star Wars movie in the theater, you likely have enjoyed The Mandalorian very much and see it as a return to what made the franchise great.

As an aging nerd, there's lots to love. The show clings closely to the production design of the original films and also has a great economy of story and character that echoes the best moments of the movies we remember most fondly.

In 1977 I was dragged into the theater by my mom after she gave a hard pass to seeing a Disney cartoon, "The Rescuers" - I was upset that I couldn't watch cartoon mice - but I quickly changed my tune.  I will never forget seeing that Star Destroyer pass overhead at the beginning of the movie.  It was a moment forever burned into my 6 year old brain that I can still see clearly today.  It was the beginning of a life long love for blockbuster entertainment and the impetus for me to try and get involved in any way I could, as an adult, into an occupation connected to movies and/or tv.

And I think ultimately, the big reason The Mandalorian has hit home so hard and strong with us Gen X people, is that the images burned into our brains have been there now going on 40 years.  It's hard to escape being enthralled with a tv series that is so technically superb at bringing those etched-in pictures back to life.  

But as blown away as I and others my age have been, the generation before us must be completely out of their minds.  These are kids, now adults, who literally watched the original trilogy on VHS when they were still in diapers.  They then came of age right as a second wave of Star Wars movies hit the theaters.

And although my generation did it's level best to crap all over these movies as much and as loud as we could, ultimately we failed to dampen the love for George's prequels.  It is very obvious at this point, if you pay attention at all to the social media of young people, that Episodes 1-3 are not only finally being openly appreciated, but that there is a deep and protective love for little Annie, Jar-Jar and all the rest of the problematic gang.

And although I've only noticed this love recently, I can gain understanding from my 16 year old daughter that the love has been there for a LONG time.  Since the beginning really.  Gen X decided we would act exactly like Baby Boomers and make everything about us - and in the end it didn't matter because the prequels weren't made for us at all, they were made for the next generations of kids.  George knew this, even though the unwavering determination of Gen X to be miserable about the prequels certainly hurt his feelings to some extent, in the end I think he recognizes that ultimately all the bile has less to do with the prequels themselves and ultimately more to do with the boring truth that you can never go home again.

Well, the genius that is Dave Filoni came along when George wanted to flesh out the timeline between episodes 2 and 3 in the form of an animated series called the Clone Wars, and he managed to help build a very impressive and massive amount of stories that went a long way to greatly improve the importance and emotional power of the prequels.

And it makes sense right?  The prequels amount to less than 8 hours of story telling, the Clone Wars animated series has nearly 50 hours to play with.  Even if Filoni wasn't as great of a story teller as he is, it would be pretty hard not to improve the prequel legacy with such a large amount of time to build and expand with.

But the good, or rather great, news was - Filoni is a master story teller, who cut his teeth on the impressive Avatar: The Last Airbender animated show (that my daughter made me watch and I'm glad I did) and then came in and gave an enormous kick in the pants to Star Wars universe with a massively rich array of characters and satisfying character arcs in the form of an expertly animated series.  And then he did it again with another animated series called "Rebels".

Flash forward a year or two and John Favreau, the brilliant fellow behind the amazing movie "Elf" and the genesis of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with the original "Iron Man" - is tasked with a live action Star Wars series, and who does he bring on right from the beginning?  The genius who took a deep appreciation for the prequels and turned it into an animation juggarnaut,.

Oh, I guess I failed to mention that Filoni loves the prequels.  I suppose it would be an obvious qualification for someone whose job it was to tell a story between episodes 2 and 3, but the anger for the prequels runs so deep in people my age that it would be an easy thing to ignore.

Filoni, truly and deeply LOVES the prequels, and more than once has publicly and loudly gone to the matt for George's maligned movies.  The most impressive defense of the prequels I've ever seen is in the Mandalorian documentary series on Disney+. Filoni at the directors round table talks unedited for a solid 12 minutes about why the lightsaber duel between Qui-gon Jin/Obi-wan and Darth Maul is the most important fight in  the Star Wars saga, and it's truly impressive.   His love and knowledge of the prequels, and his expert breakdown of why they matter so much - it has to be seen to be believed.

And so Mr. Filoni brought this passion and expertise to the Mandalorian, and thank God he did because the show it turns out is not only great nostalgia and fan service for us 50 year old curmudgeons who stubbornly insist on only appreciating the movies that were around when we were kids, but the show is actually a massive continuation and enhancement of ALL of George Lucas' Star Wars.  And the show is all the richer for it.

Filoni's deep love and massive talent for ALL the Star Wars, permeates the show.  From the "Roger Roger" droid parts in a sand crawler, to an aborted Snoke clone in stasis.  But production design isn't the only all-encompassing embrace of Lucas.   Character after character can be connected to the prequels and even some to the sequels, which is now the new whipping boy flavor of the month of the Gen X hate parade.

Bo Katan, a beloved Clone Wars character, showed up this season in episode 3 and millennials lost their minds.  The very next show, Ahsoka Tano, another Clone Wars giant (the only character from that show on par in importance with Anakin and Obi-wan) finally made her long rumored appearance and the collective orgasm across the nerd-verse was heard and felt far and wide.

These massive waves of pleasure were so HUGE that they couldn't help but put cracks in the armor of us cranky asshole fans - yes the 50 year olds who insist on acting like babies with every new Star Wars product.  Next thing I know, I'm seeing reaction videos on YouTube of overweight balding guys like me wetting themselves as Katie Sackhoff (Bo Katan) and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka Tano) show up.

Really dudes?  You hated the prequels, you poo-poohed the Clone Wars 'cartoon' and now you're on board? Ok , boomer or gen Xer or whatever.

Whatever indeed.  I'm actually ok with my generation now, despite being fickle and bitter beyond reason at the arrival of 3 brand new Star Wars feature films in 1999-2005, and then again over the past 5 years with 3 even better feature films. The Mandalorian and Dave Filoni have disarmed a lot of that cynical anger in one fell swoop.

Season 1 of The Mandalorian was a well crafted set-up, a serialized western that followed 'The Man With No Name" across the galaxy as he rescued a kid (take that asshole Gen Xers who hate little Annie) and protected him.

Season 2 was the spectacular payoff which to the casual eye would seem to be fan service in the extreme, but to a Star Wars fan - be it a cynical old fatty or a wide eyed youngster with a Jar-Jar stuffy, it was deliverance on a biblical scale.

And it has cut across the generations.  The youtube reaction videos this morning after the season 2 finale are full of 20somethings through 60somethings, all with tears of joy in their eyes. I can't help but be watery eyed myself doing the ultimate dumb thing of the 21st century - watching other people react to something I've already seen.

And now it's time for SPOILERS - so if you haven't digested all 16 episodes of the Mandalorian series you should stop now and come back when you're done.

The people my age and older on youtube who are this morning blubbering tears of joy - think they are doing so because Luke Skywalker showed up.  While this is a big part of it, the bigger part is that the emotions are not only rooted in a single character from a movie that's 44 years old - it's THE character from a massive saga that spans all of those years in ever emerging and flourishing content with far more stories than just three and far more characters than just the holy trinity (Luke, Lea and Han).

Take away the prequels, take away the Clone Wars and Rebels, and take away the sequels.  Now try to imagine a show like Mandalorian existing, pretty tough.  Then try to imagine if it somehow had come to exist and then think about Luke Skywalker showing  up in the season finale. Yes, it still would have been pretty cool - but it wouldn't be the ocean of joyful tears that we are seeing right now.  

I have no doubt in my mind that the focus would've been more on the CGI and less on the return of the character - the opposite of the reaction today.

But the reason Mandalorian works, and the reason Skywalker's appearance was so knee-buckling, is because we have been living through constantly emerging and evolving Star Wars content for 4 decades.

That many of us have been needlessly nasty about most if not all of that content, is pretty despicable.

I've said it many times before but it bears repeating.  No one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans.

And yet, here we are - all but the nastiest of us have abandoned the dark side (for now) and have returned to loving Star Wars again.   All thanks to Favreau and Filoni and their incredible team of artists.

It is a great morning to be a Star Wars fan that's for sure.

And my fondest hope is that when the next piece of content comes out that doesn't meet the expectations of my generation, my generation for once could maybe shut the fuck up a bit instead of gnashing their teeth and wringing their hands like a little bitch.

Star Wars does not belong to us and we are entitled to nothing.

You are certainly able to criticize if you feel a story falls short, certainly I did with "Rise of Skywalker" but there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

When you want to voice displeasure - do it with respect, do it with thoughtfulness and do it without questioning the heart and character of people like George Lucas or Kathleen Kennedy or whoever else is creating content.  

If you see a Star Wars movie or tv show that you don't care for as nothing more than a cynical cash grab - you and not the creator are the problem.  All movies and television shows are a "cash grab" in that none of them would exist if there wasn't a profit to be made.

Grow up and recognize this first before you get out the knives to eviscerate the character of someone you know nothing about.  Or rather, you are ignoring the one thing that you do know - that they unequivocally love Star Wars and wouldn't be creating Star Wars content if they didn't.

Rick Berman got it in Star Trek and George Lucas got it in Star Wars - an irrational hatred from the fan base that is rooted in their own inability to recapture the magic from childhood and has little to do with the thoughts or feelings of grown ass men and women who are trying their best to create a story in a creative universe that they love and is also loved by millions more.

Sometimes they screw up.  Sometimes they fall short. Sometimes they don't have the time they need to do justice to the story that came before (Rise of Skywalker I'm looking at you).  But never, is a creator giving thought to how they can most thoroughly rape your childhood.

Let's all get over ourselves and yes, embrace the feels of great joy when they succeed wildly (Mandolorian Season 2 Finale) and thoughtfully criticize when it's necessary.  Hopefully in that criticism we can use the sandwich technique and couch it in what we did like.  Much more productive and helpful than just shitting all over something because it makes you feel better.  That's not what fans do, that's what bitter babies do.

Example;  Rise of Skywalker has many fantastic and emotional moments even though it drastically shortchanges characters like Finn and Rose and often feels rushed and not very well thought out.  The Palpatine re-emergence and lineage especially feel out of left field and are disappointing developments because they appear to be retconning bold choices made in the previous film.  Thankfully there's still enough great moments to off-set these shortcomings.  Enough that I still ended up enjoying the movie.  And I for sure love the sequels and pray that some how this is not the last time we see these characters.

See?  It's not that hard.  I could do an even harsher criticism for Episode 1 The Phantom Menace, as I truly feel that is by far the weakest Star Wars movie - but again, my love for Star Wars goes so deep I couldn't bear to do it without pointing out what did work and what I liked.

I can't imagine writing an entirely negative screed, or even worse going on youtube and ranting non-stop about how much I hated Episode 1, even if I did genuinely despise the film - which I don't.

There is only one of these movies that truly dislike, and that is "Nemisis" - not  Star Wars.  It's Star Trek, the other great sci-fi love of my life.  That is a truly awful movie.  I would be hard pressed to say much positive about it.  The sandwich technique probably wouldn't soften the blow too much.  But I don't waste my time thinking about it, pretty much at all.  I likely haven't thought of that film at all in over a decade.  I'm almost positive as I'm writing this that the movie "Nemisis" literally hasn't entered my brain in 10 years.  Whereas the average Star Wars hater, or you could say the average 50 year old Star Wars "fan" probably thinks of Last Jedi and Phantom Menace all the time.

But, still,  I don't hold the awfulness of "Nemisis" against the creators, including Brent Spiner and Patrick Stewart who had a hand in the story.  I certainly forgive them and still hold them in high regard. And in the end - if I'm ever flipping channels and stumble across "Nemisis", I likely somehow won't start screaming at the sky.  I'll probably crack a smile and maybe even watch it for a few minutes.  Maybe.   It is a truly God awful movie.  But I'm looking forward to watching the new show that is out right now called "Picard" and I would certainly love it if they incorporated the "Nemisis" story line, and that would no doubt make the last Star Trek feature film (and the franchise as a whole) that much stronger.

So I didn't really mean to make this a rant about Star Wars fans - as insufferable as they can be - but I think I've made my point.

Star Wars is wonderful and amazing - and when it's at it's best it can even be transcendent.

Let's hold on to that transcendence and love in our hearts and remember that it won't always be this great - and when it isn't - it's okay to lead with kindness and a be a positive "force" instead of being a ranting dickhead.

Oh yeah - and when that green lightsaber busted out I was like "Daaayum!  Luke!!!!"   That was awesome!

       

TOS - 1.06

Mudd's women was the sixth episode broadcast on Star Trek The Original Series (TOS) - airing on October 13, 1966.

This one I understand is a fan favorite, widely acknowledged as a classic - primarily for the impressive and memorable performance of guest star Roger Carmel as the title character.

I can agree that Mr. Roger is formidable, and very much iconic in the Star Trek canon.  But I'm afraid the rest of this episode falls far down my list of TOS shows that hold up to a critical and/or modern eye.

I can certainly appreciate the intent behind the "message" of the episode - beauty that is only skin-deep ultimately is meaningless.  At least I'm pretty sure that's what Rodenberry (who conceived the story) was trying to say here.

And look, I get it - it is undeniably a historical truth that beautiful women have been at the crux of many conflicts and wars over the years.  Yes, beautiful women can turn men into simpering animals; but this show is so ham-handed about it, it's pretty much cringe from beginning to end.

I've watched this show twice before writing this - and I must say, I really can't understand what happens to Mudd's ship at the beginning.  The Enterprise is chasing him through space, and Mudd's ship breaks up or something (for no real reason) and they beam aboard him and then the women - who immediately turn the crew into slack-jawed horn-dogs.  Ok.  It's not particularly written or acted well, and it's not at all intentionally funny which is a real shame.

And then it turns out Mudd is trafficking the women to become wives of miners on some random planet. Um, anyone find this objectionable?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Apparently sex trafficking is a thing in the future and Kirk and co. are ok with it, even if they don't like Mudd.  

Then a ticking clock is clumsily thrown in with the last dilithium crystal cracking.  Shout out to the first appearance of the mother-effing Dilithium Crystal up in this biznatch.

So then we are down on the planet in some different show where random guest actors play the miners and all the sudden it's Seven Brides for Seven Brothers with everything but the song and dance.  Oh those Sobbin' Women!

And then there's a Venus Drug which creates illusionary beauty and now the women are ugly or something, but they're not - it's just less make-up and different lighting.  An intriguing an idea, much like the rest of this episode, that unfortunately is not elegantly pulled off at all.

And in the end, the women are content to stay with the miners and one of them even goes so far to tell Kirk that (paraphrasing) "Sorry, we can't bone because you've got this lady up there called 'Enterprise"  Yes, that's pretty much the actual dialogue.

I'll repeat - I don't mind what Gene Roddenberry was trying to say - at least I think what he was trying to say; that beauty is temporary and to some extent subjective, and that what matters is a deeper human connection.  That's all good, and I think if you watch this episode closely and pay attention that's the message that you'll get.  However, you reeeeally have to pay attention - and that's very difficult considering how slow this episode is.   Like I mentioned, I watched it twice and I'm still not sure I'm right about what the show was trying to say.

The Iron Lady and The Crown

 Have been greatly enjoying the Crown on Netflix, but I do have one tiny nitpick - I'm a bit disappointed that their portrayal of Margaret Thatcher is once again bordering and often crossing over into cartoon territory. I say again because the first time was that dreadful Meryl Streep movie that failed spectacularly at showing what was so amazing about the Iron Lady.

Gillian Anderson does an amazing job disappearing into the character - so bravo to her - but I can't help but feel a bit deflated as the show often falls back on leftist myths about Thatcher to boost it's own progressive outlook.

I was happy with the first episode featuring Thatcher, it expertly showed exactly what was great about the prime minister with a wonderful portrayal of her famously disastrous visit at Balmoral. I loved how the episode had us sympathizing with Maggie and portrayed the Royal family as they can be, infuriatingly elitist.

But this last episode we watched, which went into great detail about the nutcase who broke into the queen's bedroom and made a great effort to portray him as sympathetic because he was mad at the politics of Thatcher, just very disappointing.

I'm not saying there isn't an argument to be made for a balanced and fair portrayal of what Thatcher's policies did to the country - but this was all pandering to the left. I doubt very much the queen in real life would find such a sympathetic portrayal of a nutcase (yes, when you break into Buckingham Palace you are screwy in the head) acceptable.

I still love the show, but it's at it's best when it recognizes that the Royals and the government and Great Britian as a whole are complicated - that it's not just a matter of a war mongering heartless conservative at Downing Street, but there's actually a lot more going on than the simple, Berkeley-tinged historical revisionism. Margaret Thatcher was a remarkable and entirely formidable woman, who brought her country back from the abyss of socialism and much like Reagan re-instilled a pride of country and exceptionalism. She deserves much better than the Crown gave her in episode 5.

TOS - 1.05

 "The Enemy Within" is the fifth episode broadcast of Star Trek The Original Series, airing first on October 6, 1966.

This is another winner in my mind - it holds up very well and introduces us to a trope that would be played over and over in the Star Trek universe.  My favorite variation of this is the "Mirror Universe" episodes that Deep Space Nine would perfect several decades later.

Kirk gets beamed back up, but due to transporter mumbo-jumbo he is split in two.  The "good" Kirk comes back first and is disoriented so they take him to sickbay.  Naturally the transporter room is left empty, lol wut, and "evil" Kirk shows up.

Billy Shatner absolutely tears it up with his performance as the Kirk Id gone wild!  Love his scenery chewing and over the top emoting, good stuff!

Less effective is the sub-plot to explain to the audience what is going on with a ridiculous doggie in a costume.

Though it is a useful device to give us the "ticking clock" that we need to have enhanced jeopardy and peril.  The dog dies - and so will Kirk if we don't figure this out!

The sub-sub-plot, with Sulu and his homies "chilling out" on the frozen at night planet, is also effective in pushing the stakes higher.  Too bad they don't have a shuttle craft or something...

The climax of the story is pretty awesome, with both the good and bad Kirk facing off on the bridge - it's genuinely exciting and also very satisfying when Spock and the gang easily recognize who the bad guy really is.

Also great is that good Kirk ends up actually persuading bad Kirk that they both need each other.  Another great Star Trek moment!

Also also, the less said about Yeoman Rand and her post-assault attempt to chummy up to restored Kirk at the end, the better.

So yeah, this one is probably not a top ten, but it for sure falls on the winning side.  A great plot device, that once again Twilight Zone did first - but Star Trek really masters it, and yes, uses the story again and again over the years.

Up next - one of my LEAST favorite TOS episodes ever - "Mudd's Women". Boy I really can't stand that episode!  But I'm in the middle of watching it for a second time, just so I'm really sure to give it a fair shake.  Stay tuned!

TOS - 1.04

 "The Naked Time" - is the fourth episode of Star Trek: The Original Series to air, broadcasting on September 29, 1966

This is what I believe to be the very first Star Trek episode that starts to approach greatness.  The pacing is quicker than previous episodes and the story holds together extremely well, from the first scene through almost the very end.

This is also the very first episode in this series of reviews that I specifically remember watching as a kid.  Star Trek in the mid/late 1970's was on in syndication at all hours - I'm sure I watched this show after school and also on weekends.

I remember very specific and vivid images - the striking frozen people in the opening scene.  Sulu with a sword, of course!  Riley's singing and also his line about "ice cream for the whole crew" stick out in my mind as well.  But more than anything I remember how shocking it was to see Spock struggle not to cry.  Now that made an impact!

Yes, it is true - my deep love for this show, and the visceral reaction I get from watching it even as a nearly 50 year old man, has roots deep in my childhood.  I know for a fact that I had the Mego action figures, which were released not when the show originally aired, as a relatively low rated prime time network drama, but as a daytime syndicated science fiction serial (that wasn't serialized) for kids and teenagers.

I had all the main character figures, but my friends Sean and Terry had the bridge play-set!  I remember going to their house in Key West and having space battles and melodrama on this fantastic plastic coated cardboard masterpiece...

It's hard to tell from the picture, but on the left there was a working transporter!  You put the figure in, and used the blue knob on top to spin the chamber.  The figure would spin and the yellow lines created an optical illusion that the figure was "beaming" away.  Push the red button and the spinning stopped and Spock was GONE!

Anyways - I hope this conveys that Star Trek (along with Star Wars, which I saw on it's first theatrical run) was kind of a big deal to me as a kid.

But unlike other franchises that I also enjoyed, Land of the Lost, Banana Splits, The Brady Bunch, among others.  Star Trek is really the only one left that I can watch today as a grown-up and enjoy not only as a nostalgia tonic, but I can appreciate it as well for it's quality and still enjoy it on it's own merits.

"The Naked Time" is the first of a dozen or so Star Trek TOS episodes that really holds up as something special.  It is well paced, well structured and also has a sizable amount of intentional humor that works wonderfully.

It also has a great use of a ticking clock to build tension and excitement - with Riley locking himself in the engine room and shutting the engines down cold, we really start to worry if the Enterprise can get themselves out of this absurd and yet also scary mess of drunk people running around all over the ship.

If this episode has a flaw, for me it's really the tacked on scene at the end involving time travel.  Wikipedia explains that originally this was to be a two part episode, with the final scene setting up the second half which eventually became the episode "Tomorrow is Yesterday".   The scene was re-written so that Naked Time could be a stand-alone.  Whether or not that directive was from the network or not, who knows.  But I do know there's only one 2 parter in TOS, and that was "The Menagerie" which was an ingenious re-working of the original unaired pilot.

So yes, this episode is one of my favorites.  I'm compiling a top ten as I watch this show, and this one is the first so far that I think will easily qualify.

TOS - 1.03

 "Where No Man Has Gone Before" is the third Star Trek TOS episode to air and is actually the SECOND pilot of the show.  It originally aired on September 22, 1966.

The first pilot was rejected by NBC and had originally starred Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Pike.  Star Trek was given a second chance and Mr. Hunter declined to jump back on board so they re-casted The Shat as James R. Kirk (after the this second pilot it would be changed to James T. Kirk) and the rest as we know is history.

There's a lot here that looks and feels different from the first two Trek episodes to air.  The uniforms are largely left over from the first pilot - baggy tan tunics - and there are missing cast members, most notably Bones (the ship's doctor instead played by Paul Fix) and Uhura.  The ship itself also looks different and would not be dialed in until the regular series got picked up and started filming.   There's also a bad-ass phaser rifle that we never get to see again.

This episode is fairly intriguing and certainly not as weak as the insufferable "Charlie X" or the nearly unwatchable and upcoming "Mudd's Women"   I really like the interplay between Kirk and his helmsman Gary Mitchell (played by Gary Lockwood) - the addition of Dr. Dehner (played by the versatile and prodigious working actor Sally Kellerman) also adds an interesting dynamic that keeps us engaged.  Dig those groovy glitter eyeballs!

Gary Lockwood's very next gig after this one was across the pond in the UK in a little movie called "2001: A Space Odessy" that you might've heard of.

Best of all, the episode concludes with a knock-down drag-out bareknuckle fist-fight between Kirk and Mitchell,  choreographed in that sixties western brand of violence and action that we all remember from shows like "Big Valley" and "Bonanza".   Well, I remember it, because I'm old.

There are also missteps and slow patches here and there - Gary's transformation is well paced and compelling, until it's not and suddenly he declares himself a god and we're off to the races.  Paul Fix as the predecessor to Bones McCoy seems disinterested and non-plussed throughout which is unintentionally hilarious at times.   And of course don't forget the crew body count - Spock's casual mention that nine crew members were killed when the Enterprise crosses the galaxy barrier puts the total at 12 which crazily enough is actually the record for a single TOS episode.

But overall, this one is a winner.  It's got a romantic angle that is intriguing, and it's got genuine suspense and plenty of action.  Most of all I am grateful to this episode - because it's the show that convinced ABC to make Star Trek a regular series.  My understanding is that Lucille Ball played a big part in that final decision and for that reason, I will always Love Lucy.

TOS - 1.02

 The second episode of Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) to air, "Charlie X",  features a scenery chewing guest performance by Robert Walker as the obviously alien and super-powered Charlie Evans.

I must say, before I delve into the many absurdities of this particular story, I do indeed love TOS and I hope my "reviews" of these shows don't come across as too negative.  The story telling of many episodes (not so much this one) is often inspiring and the three main characters are as well fleshed out as any main protagonists on television or in the movies today.

That said, there is a whole lot of nonsense in "Charlie X"

Where to begin?   How about we start with the "singing performance" of Nichelle Nichols as the normally stoic and brave Lt. Uhura.   TOS has many "cringe" moments over it's three seasons, this is the first truly big one.  Uhura's song isn't so much a song as it is a warbling, random, sing-song nonsense diatribe about astronauts and moon beams.  It goes on interminably long and then, infuriatingly - Yeoman Rand blurts out "One more time!"   Oh God.  No.  Just NO.

And if one massive cringe scene wasn't enough - then we have Shatner's pants as he attempts to teach Charlie how to judo.   I need eye bleach after this scene.  Unfortunately some things cannot remain unseen.  And if I have to suffer - so do you.

And finally perhaps the most cringe of all - Charlie slaps Yeoman Rand on the ass, much to her consternation.  And though she is upset she doesn't say what she should say - "Hey!  That is completely unacceptable.  Don't ever do that again.  Do not touch me, stay away from me." or similar - and that unfortunately is understandable because this show was made over 50 years ago.  But what I can't abide or understand is that when Kirk finds out what happened - he too is unable to tell Charlie what needs to be said!  He doesn't say "You don't ever do that.  It's completely unacceptable.  You need to apologize and promise it will never happen again" or similar.  I understand the show is old fashioned but really, Kirk's silence on this matter, be it his uncomfortableness with the situation or whatever it is - is pretty unsettling.

So after nearly half an hour of Charlie obviously using his powers (and again, apparently killing people left and right) it finally begins to dawn on the ever oblivious crew that something's not right with Charlie.  Just when it all seems to go to shit, the aliens finally show up and transport Charlie away and casually mention that all the disappeared people have returned.  Indeed Yeoman Rand shows up at the end, in what is actually an otherwise effecting final scene, as Charlie is whisked away to be with his alien benefactors.  Yeoman Rand cries for him, apparently ass-slappers are endearing or something.

Yes, this is my least favorite episode of the show out of the half dozen so far that I've watched.  The Charlie character is written to be annoying - and mission accomplished. I don't know if I feel better or worse that the sexist dialogue and situations here were written by a woman - DC Fontana, though the original story pitch was Mr. Rodenberry's.

But I guess I should recognize this plot set the template for a lot of similar situations in the future.  Charlie is indeed the original "Q" character who would show up on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Once again the show also suffers from interminable pacing problems.  The good news is, that many very good to great episodes coming up do not.  This one however, is pretty much a turkey and had my mind wandering and my body shifting uncomfortably more than once.

  

TOS - 1.01

 In these final months of quarantine (hopefully) I've started to binge Star Trek - TOS. TOS would be The Original Series.

I'm skipping "The Cage" for now, as it was the original pilot, and it never aired. It surfaced in the early 1990's as part of the original TOS release on DVD. I'm going through in broadcast order, I'll watch "The Cage" when I'm done with TOS.

Episode 1, season 1. "The Man Trap".

The story starts off compellingly enough, but soon starts to fall apart as a choppy structure falls pray to what would be a continuing problem with TOS - the good captain and his crew are VERY slow on the uptake and figuring out what is going on.

Also, another continuing issue I have with the series - the crew members truly are disposable. Very little thought or concern for dead crewman and women as the bodies pile up. In this episode alone I counted at least 4 dead Enterprise personnel. Kirk is concerned but only to a point that serves the narrative. We never feel the impact that a real human death should warrant.

I also feel the show suffers greatly from our modern attention spans. This, and all TOS Star Trek episodes, is upwards of 49 minutes long! Considering a modern network hour can be as short as 39:30 (source: yours truly who has delivered hour long network programming) - that's a BIG difference! Of course many shows on streaming services are an hour without commercials - BUT, they typically only have 10 episodes (or 8) per season. Each season of ST TOS had to deliver 29 episodes!

The length of time really shows in this episode, as there are several scenes that feel very padded and could have easily been trimmed or cut altogether. Other, stronger episodes coming up in the series don't feel nearly as glacial.

It's interesting that this is the very first episode that aired on television - as it was filmed not only after the 2nd Pilot, but after four other episodes as well. I've read a few times in different sources that the network went with "Man Trap" because it was more action heavy than the other episodes that were finished.

The wikipedia articlele linked here mentions that this episode got a 25 rating (which would leave a top rated network show in the dust in 2020) with almost half of all televisions that were turned on being tuned into Star Trek. Although the ratings would go on to slip, especially in the second season, there were still tens of millions of people watching Star Trek every week.

I'm not shocked that it became such a cultural phenomenon, when you look at the sheer number of eyeballs that saw every episode. Even though Star Trek has long been talked about in terms of "low ratings" we have to remember that back in the day the ratings were indeed low, but only in comparison to other network shows. Today, these same numbers would be almost Super Bowl sized.

The monster at the end is pretty cool - as dated as it is by lack of articulation or wet surfaces - the design is both delightfully shocking and vulgar.

Star Trek has arrived - and for all of the episodes problems that I outlined, there are also a ton of positives.

All three lead characters, Kirk, Spock & McCoy arrive already very flushed out and dimensional. The ship itself has a fairly believable layout and operating procedures. The production design, while not without it's budgetary shortfalls, is still very effective in establishing a pleasing and compelling aesthetic.

And as much as I have harped on how slow the story was - it nonetheless remained compelling throughout. I may have had the desire to check my phone a few times, but I never felt anywhere near compelled to simply turn off the show. I did have to stick around and see how it played out. Both the wife and kid did drift in and out of the room, but they both by the end were seated and watching.

Not a bad endorsement of a show that is now over 50 years old!

Stay tuned - I'm hoping to write one of these "reviews" (really it's more of a minor critique along with praise and informational parts) once a week or so. The master plan is to binge all three seasons of this still very remarkable show.

My Fellow Americans...

 On the eve before this, the 19th anniversary of 9/11, I sit in the dark - having busted out of an evening online poker tournament.   Still on the Zoom call, I'm listening to my friends chatter about cards and chips, virtual of course.

My mind wanders to that fateful day all those years ago.  Many of the memories are still fresh - seared into my brain.

But most of my thoughts inevitably wander back to today, and how our country has one gone through the wringer.  Not in a painful flash, but this time in a slow and unending burn.  First with a pandemic, that for good or bad, right or wrong, saw our economy grind to a halt.

Then a man in Minnesota met his end, under the knee of an officer.   And our cities burned.  And burned. 

And burned.

And continue to burn.

Soon the fires spread to the forests - and now are still alight as the skies turn from yellow, to orange, to ash and soot.

Yeah, 2020 is kind of like a prolonged 9/11.   Not over in an instant, not a galvanizing event that for a good month afterwards saw our country more united than we've ever been.

No, this time around the unity is actually heading inexorably in the other direction.  We are thoroughly divided.  Us versus them.  Politics, it turns out, are everything.  Party and candidates are a insidious infections that spread everywhere.

Well, as much as a political junkie as I am - I have to say, I'm really less interested in politics today than I've ever been.  I've got much bigger concerns.

My concern is not who you are voting for.  My concern is what are you willing to ignore to further your candidate or your various causes?

I'm not a mind reader, and I'm genuinely unconcerned with what people think of our president or of the fellow who is running against him.

But I do know what I am against, which may not be the best way to look at things, but it's certainly the simplest and most definitively correct.  The list below, of things that are non-negotiable for me, may be very basic and it may be crude - but to me these beliefs are far more important to me than imperfect policies or partisan leanings.

More importantly, if you vote for someone that I don't vote for or have a different view on what kind of policies will help people more - I will always still care for you and call you my friend, unequivocally and unconditionally. 

If however, you read down this list - of principles that I believe in - and you find yourself on the other side, strongly and consistantly - it may be time to reassess where we stand with each other.

• I believe that our country is the greatest nation on the face of the earth and it is absolutely NOT systematically racist.  Nor was it founded on racism.  Are there racists among us?  Certainly. Do we have problems with race in our country?  Of course.  Is racism widespread and institutionalized in the USA?  Nope.  Not even close.  I would point you to half a dozen third world countries that I've spent time in where the wrong race in the wrong part of town is a literal death sentence.  I've spent too much time abroad to buy into the lies and fear spread by both the radical left and right.

• I believe that Critical Race Theory, as brought into modern times by Derrick Bell, is a SICKNESS and blight upon this country and the world.  It is rooted in marxism and has nothing to do with fighting racism or bringing people together.  Martin Luther King Jr. would've thought it abhorrent, and I do too.

• I believe saying "all lives matter" or "I don't see color" are noble expressions of good faith.  CRT (see above) has brainwashed a good amount of Americans (mostly white and affluent) to believe these phrasings are basically one step away from saying the n-word.   Sorry, I was raised to treat everyone the way I want to be treated - and I would certainly not want to be patronized and coddled.  I am not a victim and I will not tolerate being treated as such and I will absolutely NOT treat others this way.  

• I believe that Law Enforcement Officers are an essential ingredient to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Without the police, law and order will cease to exist and we will be less free.

• I believe that both de-funding the police and re-allocating funds away from the police are the SAME THING.  80% of all black Americans do NOT want either in their communities - they want the same funding or more.  If you are pro-cutting police budgets or "moving" funds - you are lost and ignorant.  More than likely you live in a safe and affluent neighborhood and have no idea what it's like to face criminals on a regular basis.

• I believe that if you do not comply with a police officer, including but not limited to ignoring commands, abruptly reaching into your clothing or vehicle, lashing out at the officer, striking the officer or in any way reaching for the officer's weapon - you very likely will be shot and very possibly lose your life.  This is immutable.  It does not mean you deserve to be shot or to die, but it means that if you don't listen and behave rashly, a calamitous outcome is highly likely - and that I will have very little sympathy for you.

• I believe if you have lived your life villainously, without morals and with an abundance of bad choices - drugs, abusing women, abusing children, using acts of violence on others - especially the weak and defenseless, then you have in effect MADE YOUR BED - and you will have to lie in it and inevitably will face repercussions for you behavior.  This includes hopefully a LONG prison term where you either die or are so infirm when you get out that you cease to be a danger to others.  Society may have played a part in your being reprehensible, and it's true we can all work together on that part to make it better for others - but we CANNOT excuse criminal behavior or look the other way.

• I believe that people who riot - smash windows, burn buildings, attack cops, attack bystanders or counter-demonstrators - are CRIMINALS who should go to jail and stay there for awhile.  Damaging property is an act of violence, whether someone's home or place of business.  Punishment for such violence should be swift and severe.   It's NOT "just things" - buildings are businesses and livelihoods.

• I believe that free market capitalism, while flawed and certainly able to be improved, is the ONLY system on the planet that has demonstrably lifted citizenry out of poverty.  The Critical Race Theory folks, aka the idiot proponents of "white fragility" are not compelled by reason or logic - they are emotionally driven marxists whose goal it is to dismantle the capitalist system.   I recognize that they are my enemy and a dangerous threat to liberty and the sovereignty of the individual.

Finally, let me say that it has become my firm belief, that cowering in the face of those who would seek to destroy my country - is no longer something I'm willing to do.

I am reluctant to share my political and policy views in public - both because I worry about future employment and also because increasingly I don't think my politics or yours matter all that much.  I don't care who you vote for.  I don't care if you are a liberal or a conservative.  I have many friends on both sides of the aisle.

What I will no longer hide however, is my strong love of my country and my firm belief that this poisonous cancel culture is very real and that it must be called out and fought.

With that in mind - going forward - I am distinguishing between my dear liberal friends, men and women who love this country and want to see it prosper and want it to be forever free - and those who are straying into the fold of the radical fringe.  Be it leftist or alt-right, if you are against the police, or against the free market or against the right of Americans to speak, worship and defend themselves - then you and I are not friends after all.

If you have decided that you side with the radical fringe, that you want the USA dismantled, police abolished, freedoms curtailed - then you can go ahead and de-friend me now.   I won't reach out to you if you do.  I will pray for you, but I am perfectly fine with letting you go for good.

If you are buying into the brainwashing - this infantile dogma about making amends for the crimes of your ancestors or paying reparations for things you have nothing to do with - we can still be friends, and I will also still pray for you.   I do also implore you, wake up and grow up.

Just know - wherever you are at on the spectrum between loving and loathing our country - understand that I will NEVER bend my knee to any marxist struggle session.  I will NEVER pledge fealty to tenets of fear and anger.  I will NEVER submit to the poison of CRT and it's toxic off-shoots.

You will NEVER BREAK ME.

I will go forward with love in my heart, matched only by a ferocious determination to stand and support my fellow Americans as we fight for our freedom and our future.

We will not be cowed.

We will not be fearful.

We will stand together as Americans, as we did on September 12, united as Americans regardless of the least important thing.   (That least important thing would be pigment.  The most superficial and pointless distinction to make.)

Going forward - I will not hide from calling out cancel culture or thought policing if I see it.

I will also not shy away from condemning the radical fringe - be it the cowardly criminals of establishment darlings like antifa or disgusting and increasingly irrelevant white supremacists who are reviled by both sides.

So, it's not back to politics - I will shun discussing them as I have now for over five years.  But I'm done hiding from speaking out when I see something that is wrong.

If you have to un-friend me, then by all means go ahead.

God bless you, whatever you decide.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Well it's been a minute or two since I've been around these parts and it turns out that 2020 is a completely shitty year, for real this time.

The past 3 years have often been called by various left of center folks as "the worst year ever" - well it turns out that yes, 2020 came along and said "hold my beer" and here we are.

I don't have to much to say about the pandemic, other than that it sucks and that I pray every day for things to get better and for it to end sooner rather than later.

I don't think the nationwide lockdown was the correct strategy - in hindsight we cratered our economy for a "good reason" in that we didn't want hospitals overwhelmed, but now there's lots of evidence that that wouldn't have happened regardless.   But I'm not really here to Monday morning quarterback, what's done is done, and it's done.

It's very evident now, after 2 weeks of protests and riots that the lockdown was never really about health and safety - if you open a restaurant or nail salon you can get arrested, but marching shoulder to shoulder with 20,000 people is no problem because social justice or something.

Whatever.

No, I'm not here to bitch about the bad strategy of putting ourselves under house arrest for months at a time, I'm not here to say too much more about that - no, the reason I'm here is to say that I'm both scared and angry over what is happening to our country in regards to the ever growing hoard of thought police.

I've warned about this for years - and I am so sad to say I was absolutely right.  I have seen it now with my own eyes - on facebook, I have been castigated and shamed for posting what I thought wasn't political.  And I have seen much worse happen to much nicer people than myself.

This sweet woman named Alice, who was a co-worker of mine back in the day, now lives in the midwest with her husband and beautiful kids; she borrowed a facebook post of mine that read as such -

"I will never discard a friendship over something so small as politics"

Now I got a couple of lukewarm and borderline negative reactions from my post on my wall - but Alice took my post with my blessing and posted it on her wall, and the comments she got from her so called friends were just disgusting.

"You're making yourself feel better because of your white fragility"

"You can minimize politics because you aren't living under a repressive and systematically racist system"

"You are lost and confused and you need to read Howard Zinn (or various radical left authors) and educate yourself"

"You are perpetuating white supremacy"

I'm paraphrasing all of these - but this was the gist of the comments.

"Alice, you're a racist piece of shit and fuck you."

Actually, if they had said that I would at least respect it.  There is almost nothing more infuriating to me than this passive aggressive and cryptic accusation of racism that is now the inevitable response from anyone who has bought into the leftist poison that has infected our schools, universities and corporate America.

And make no mistake - it is poison.

If you say "all lives matter" you are a racist piece of shit.

Now I understand there is an argument to be had that saying "all lives matter" is indeed insensitive and offensive.  I don't really care, but the argument goes that you wouldn't say "all houses matter" if people were talking about houses that were on fire.   Whatever, it's an argument and that's fine.

But here's the problem - in the minds of these brainwashed people - there is no argument.  You are to submit to the narrative that saying "all lives matter" is offensive.   There's no argument.  There's no discussion, this is not up for debate.

You are to literally bend a knee to this and other weak platitudes.

Saying "I don't see color" is offensive because it implies that you are ignoring the plight of people of color.

Saying "I don't support rioters and looters" or even worse "Looters and rioters are criminals" - is very offensive because you are ignoring the anger and the voices of the unheard.  Again - there's no discussion here or dialogue - there is only submission.


Well - I'm here on record to say two things.

First, the less important thing I have to say is. - I disagree with every single one of these infantile arguments, and the seemingly endless other arguments that all feed into this stupid notion that black people are delicate flowers who can't handle being treated as equals.

I mean really - is there anything more racist than saying that black people aren't able to deal with being treated with the same respect and accountability that we treat white people with?   How fucked up is that?

Nah.  I categorically reject this despicable notion from affluent white people that black people are to be coddled.  I'm going to treat black people the way I want to be treated, that means as an equal.  And if they fuck up and do something thuggish I'm going to call them a thug just as I would any white asshole who did some stupid shit.   If they bust a shop window, they should go to jail and stay there for awhile.  Don't care what color they are - I know, a very "triggering micro-aggression" or some other stupid shit.   Don't care.  Fuck off.


Second -  and this is much more important - is that this notion that there can't even be a discussion to begin with over these childish beliefs - is where I stop the ride and get off.

Cancel culture it turns out, is a very real thing - and now it's being exercised on the premise that if you don't swallow the soft-racism of the radical left, you are to be cast out and lumped in with white supremacists.

In tandem with this relatively recent edict that has infected all social media platforms and nearly the entirety of corporate culture - is what I call the 2nd HAMMER.


The second hammer is this - when you inevitably fuck up and accidentally say something truthful like "people who burn down businesses in their own neighborhoods are thugs" (I can hear the gasps as I type this) - and somehow you were foolish enough to say or write this in public - you must immediately be called out as racist of course and of course be made to apologize.

Not just apologize, but flagellate yourself to the extreme and beg for mercy.

That's when the 2nd HAMMER comes and hits hard.

Your apology, your begging - all of it will NOT be accepted or entertained.  You are DONE.  You are FUCKING HISTORY.

Your life is over - you should probably go kill yourself.

We've seen it over and over and again and again


So here's the thing - I recently went onto facebook and went back and deleted every single one of my posts on the corona virus, even though at the time I thought foolishly that all of these data driven posts weren't political.  Turns out, they are and I'm a white supremacist or something.

Yes - it doesn't matter what the truth is here, the point is subservience to the woke mob.  The point is to be shamed into fealty.

I also deleted my handful of very recent posts that did stray into political territory - including the post saying I would never de-friend someone over politics.

Really - all of these posts were not put up for me to make a political point, but to call for unity and kindness and healing.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Took all of that touchy feely shit down.

Now once again it's all family, work and silly cat videos.


The reason I did this is because a friend of mine that I played poker with at my local Moose lodge (well I don't play live poker these days, pandemic and all) shot me a message out of the blue the other day.   The conversation was mainly me listening to what he had to say.


He works in Hollywood, not sure what he does but he's in the business - he told me of his friendship with Andrew Breitbart and Gary Sinise back in the day, and they had an organization called FOA which stood for "Friends of Abe"

Wow, I thought, that sounds like a great thing.  An anonymous support group for people in the biz who have different views than the militant majority in Hollywood.

Well, the point of my friends story was to tell me that after almost a decade the organization had to be disbanded because they were infiltrated with undercover leftists who promptly went out and made a list of the members and called studios and production houses and said don't hire these people because they are nazis.


Yeah, that is a scary thing that I was told that and it caused me to panic a bit and go to town on deleting my facebook "political" posts - which weren't really political but still no doubt would be taken as such.

Now, it may be too late, word is no doubt already out among many industry professionals - Chris is a nazi piece of shit.   There's not much I can do if I do end up on a list.

I am hoping and praying that my good reputation at my job and with the crews I've worked with as someone who is relatively easy to work with and professional will be enough - but I don't know...

I've been at the same production company now for 26 years, and I love it and I love my employer.  My employer is in his 7th decade of life, and I have no doubt he intends to rock on as long as he can but at some point he will retire, and then I likely will be looking for work elsewhere.

I hope and pray that some of this sickness that has infected our country and is much more destructive than any actual virus, will have abated by then.


By writing my views down here, in this "anonymous" blog, I still am taking a risk.  But honestly, I'm going to just have to live with that.  At a certain point grown-ups have to take calculated risks, or alternatively just crawl under their beds and never come out.

I'm going to speak my mind here, and to my friends and confidants in private groups on social media - I have to be able to be comfortable with myself and my views.  As much as I like to preach that politics don't matter - my views I must concede are part of who I am, just a bit anyways.   It's not healthy for me to stay bottled up over issues that are important and watch my country take blow after blow and not say anything.

Someday I pray also that I may have the courage to come out of the political closet entirely.  I know a man who I consider a friend, though our relationship is purely professional - he is the host of one of our shows and he also is a working and very visible actor.

He is out of the political closet as a full throated Trump supporter and he still gets work - so he gives me hope.  I greatly admire his courage and steadfast refusal to be silenced.


But he is an outlier - there are not many working actors or other industry professionals who can be open about their political views.   They understand the consequences of being truthful and they above all fear the 2nd HAMMER.

I have a friend who is on one of my crews on a big network show - he is hilarious and fun and a completely out of the closet gay man and no-one cares because he is great at his job and a super cool dude to be around.  Everyone, including me, loves the guy.

He also has a secret that he will never tell anyone.  He confided in me late at night, I presume it was a drunken text - that he is a conservative Republican and a Trump supporter.  He made me promise I would never tell anyone, and of course I promised - being one myself.  

Yes, you read all that right.  He is absolutely terrified of being "outed" as a conservative, and confided this to me because he had heard the rumors that I was a FOA as well.    Pretty fucked up if you ask me.


I wish there was an easy answer for me, and for no doubt the thousands of others like me in entertainment who not only have to keep their views to themselves (itself not that big a deal) but actually risk losing their livelihoods if they ever slip and say something that doesn't toe the party line.

But for now it will have to be enough for me to vent here and other mostly private venues - and of course risk my banishment and 2nd HAMMER anyways.



But one thing I promise you - as GOD as my witness - If I should ever be called out by the woke mob for something "racist" that I said - I PROMISE YOU - I will not apologize to anyone.

I will not apologize for speaking my mind, for expressing my views, for seeing the world and stating the truth as I see it.

I will not apologize, even if my job depends on it - because it wouldn't be sincere - and also I know, thanks to the 2nd HAMMER, it wouldn't matter anyways.   I'm not going to beg and grovel like a bitch, because the mob won't be satisfied anyways.

So fuck them.

If I have to live with being a Subway sandwich artist, or any other noble but low paying profession, than so be it.

I will never bend the knee to this leftist, Marxist garbage,   I will never bow my head to this awful nonsense about not saying "all lives matter" or "blue lives matter" because black people can't handle it.  Fuck that.

I will never pledge fealty to the woke mob.   I was raised, from the time I was born, to not see color, and that's how I'm gong to continue my life.   To be kind, to be respectful, and to treat people as I want to be treated.   I certainly don't want to be treated as if I'm delicate and can't handle living in a meritocracy - I don't want hand-outs, I don't want special treatment or allowances because of shit that happened in the past.  I don't want any of that - and I'm not going to do that to any one else.

I have too much time on this earth - traveling the world to almost 40 countries, many of them deeply impoverished - to change my views on this, the most basic tenets of human decency.

It is MORE than good enough to treat people with kindness and compassion.

It is MORE than good enough to dig deep for empathy when dealing with people who are angry and lashing out.

It is MORE than good enough to still hold these same people accountable for their own behavior and to flatly condemn any kind of violence or criminal behavior that they bring to the table.

It is NOT acceptable to condemn people for doing their best, for being kind, for disagreeing with the majority opinion.

It is NOT acceptable to shame people for different views or even wanting to stay out of the conversation.  It is everyone's God given right to abstain from outrage if they so choose.



And really, that's all I have to say for now.  Hopefully I can write a bit more here in the upcoming second half of this awful year.  I just have to get the energy up and do it - I'm glad I did just now.  Much better than keeping all of this pent up, that's for sure.

Peace out for now.

Movies 2019

Once again - my obligatory movie round up of my favorite flicks of the year!

2019 was actually quite a year for movies - and there were a ton that I really enjoyed but yet still didn't make my top ten.

As always, the disclaimer - I'm a big fan of big fun movies.  Films are great and all, but really if I'm going to invest my hard earned time and money in a movie theater - I want to see shit blowed up real good as opposed to long scenes of dialogue and contemplation.

Of course this doesn't mean that I don't want a good story - story is actually to me THE most important element of a great movie. Story, story, STORY!   I like my stories solid and grounded, but as for the worlds they inhabit, the bigger and more fanciful the better!

So without further ado - the runner ups!


Hobbs & Shaw
Was not expecting this one to be nearly as fun as it was when I caught it on a plane flight to Hawaii.  I found myself laughing and giddy throughout.  A hell of a good time at the movies, lots of fun and great action set pieces (though not anywhere near believable) - this movie knows exactly what it is and goes all out balls to the wall to show us all that it's got, and it's got a lot!  The Rock is a national treasure and so is that Statham guy.

Alita: Battle Angel
Came out a long time ago, but I still look back fondly on it's story and simple execution.  Don't know that we'll ever get a sequel, which is a shame, because this is a true comic-book movie, in the sense that it's incredibly faithful to the source material and is designed to keep going with the story.  Enjoyed the FX work and really dug the strange looking lead performance.

John Wick 3
For my money, the best of the trilogy so far.  Truly awesomely insane action sequences - including a crazy bit with horses that extends into the motorcycle chase of a lifetime.  Hyper violent, but also hyper fun - JW3 delivers.

Joker
Was not expecting to enjoy this at all - only reluctantly watched because it got so much acclaim and so many Oscar nominations.  Glad I watched - yes, it was grim and bleak to the point of distraction, but it was also exceptionally well done.  Joaquin is incredible in his performance, and the rest of the film rises to his level of excellence in writing, pacing, editing and production value.  Not exactly blockbuster entertainment, but a dark journey worth taking that adds another layer to the Batman legacy.

Toy Story 4
Like the previous 3 films, this one goes deep into the human condition but unlike the other 3, this one  explores what happens when Woody realizes that there's more to life than being a child's toy.  It's an interesting and risky proposition - the previous three films being grounded in the values of loyalty and fidelity - but I think it's a worthwhile exploration; plus it has all the usual Pixar excellence in story telling.  Enjoyed it very much and am looking forward to it showing up on Disney +.

Frozen II
Loved just about all of this - great production design, great songs (though 'Into the Unknown' isn't nearly the show stopper that 'Let it Go' was)  - and plenty of humor and fun moments.  I was taken a bit aback when it appeared they were shoe-horning white guilt and genocide into to the story - but all was forgiven when Elza did the right thing and protected her homeland and heritage.  Enjoyed watching this with my 15 year old daughter, who was 10 when the first one came out, and was super pumped to see this new one.

Downton Abbey
So in the year leading up to this movie I had the great pleasure of binging the entire show with my wife and daughter.  They had watched it before, but for me it was all new.  I thoroughly enjoyed the show - the production value, the performances, the time period and of course the often great dialogue and sometimes a bit too soapy storylines.  So we were all well prepared when we struck out to the theater and indulged in this very jumbo sized episode that hit all the right familiar notes and also gave a warm and comforting feeling to us Downton fans.

The Irishman
I have to say, it took me 3 days to get through this.  But, I was never really bored.  Scorcese is such a world class filmmaker, and his gangster game is still so strong -that I was thoroughly entertained and interested through the entire movie.  The sight of an 80 year old Robert Deniro (with a pixilated 30 something face plastered on) beating up a man in the streets, was a bit of a stretch - but overall it still works.  Pesci was amazing, and all the other supporting roles were well cast and executed.  Also very much enjoyed Pacino playing Hoffa - yeah, he's mostly doing himself, but he's still captivating. I actually kind of want to watch this again.

Ready or Not
A blast of a horror/thriller shot in basically one location for a modest budget.  Tons of fun, silly violent and profane - but thoroughly engaging from beginning to end.  The concept is a bit kooky, but it all works thanks to polished dialogue and confident performances and direction.  This is the kind of movie I would love to make with my production company - we are currently exploring low budget horror features, that look good and are made well enough, but could be SO much better with a script like this.


And so we arrive at my top ten!

Keep in mind, I don't get out a ton during the year, so I haven't had a chance to see everything that's out there that's worth watching.  I certainly have a list of flicks I want to see, read on down below to see those.


10. Captain Marvel

(From my UDATED Top MCU Movies: Ranked, post)

It kind of sucks that there was so much internet bullshit surrounding this one - both from in-cel neckbeards and from misguided conservatives who brought all of their emotional and political baggage to this very straightforward cosmic adventure that features a fantastic Brie Larson as the modern incarnation of Carol Danvers in the incarnation that many of us know and love from a relatively recent comic book run written and drawn by Kelly Sue DeConnick.

Truly, it is a rip roaring, and sometimes heartstring pulling yarn about our favorite Air Force captain - this time around she has amnesia - which isn't my favorite story telling device, but it works here because most of the audience isn't familiar with who she is either, and so it's an effective way for all of us (including Carol) to get to know her.

As for the internet nonsense - I really don't get it.  Life is political enough, I don't need to inject politics into a movie where it doesn't really exist; and that's what I think is going on here.  Look, I get it, in real life Brie Larson is a political ding-dong.  So what?  That doesn't mean the movie has one of her idiotic political agendas, or that the character of Captain Marvel is a 'Mary Sue' (the dumbest concept from the right as of late).   Captain Marvel is a fun movie that moves right along and does a great job at straddling the line between earth bound adventure and the Marvel cosmic scene.

I love the young Sam Jackson (amazing) and his chemistry with Brie just crackles - in a totally plutonic way that works.  Love Jude Law as the sniveling Kree, and it's great to see him finally dealt with properly at the end.  And of course I love Ben Mendelsohn as Talos who brings the funny to his misunderstood Skrull character.


9. Knives Out

Had a blast with this unconventional murder-mystery that Rian Johnson turned inside out for our amusement and delight.  Clearly he's a massive fan of the genre - and just like he did with Star Wars, Johnson here subverts our expectations and plays with a bit of meta-commentary on the various tropes. Frame for frame I don't know that there's a more entertaining movie out there this year - this one just kept me engrossed from beginning to end, and really just a delightful journey with ups and downs and just the right amount of anxiety.  Reminded me a lot of old Cohen Brothers stuff - Blood Simple in particular leaps to mind.


8. Shazam!
Speaking of genres, this was a hoot and a holler and really what the super hero movies should be.  What a blast of a good time!  The humor is sharp, the story is tight, even the villain is fleshed out well (something that even the best superhero movies often struggle with).  I will say though, no spoilers, that the ending is what really makes this one soar.  What a joyous development with our hero and his new family - very, very cool!


7. Spider-Man: Far From Home

(Also from my MCU ranking post)

This one is a blast and a half!  Not quite as strong as the first MCU Spider-Man installment, FFH still manages to bring the excitement and freshness only as the MCU can.

Jake Gyllenhaal is truly the very best choice for the very best until-now unused villain in the Marvel pantheon - Mysterio!  Everything here works; from the faithful costume design (which works perfectly as a 'manufactured' costume to mock) to Mysterio's half-cocked scheme that he executes perfectly as he transforms from a nice guy who you want to have a beer with, into a snake who is incredibly dangerous.

Love the relationships here - Ned and the blonde chick are hilarious!  "Thanks babe!"  And Peter and MJ, the whole thing works really well - better than it did in Homecoming.

Love the location work, it gives the movie a much bigger epic feel than the story warrants.

The best stuff is with Happy and Peter on the jet, and the climactic fight is a "marvel" (see what I did there) in visual FX and editing.   Beautifully done!   Can't wait to see how they deal with the shocking reveal in the mid-credits tag!   Great to see JK though!


6. Ford v Ferrari

When I said that Knives Out was very likely the most thoroughly entertaining movie of the year - it completely slipped my mind that 2019 was also the year we got this incredibly engrossing modern American fable.   Bale and Damon are at the height of their powers in this expertly crafted and directed Mangold film that makes cars completely compelling, even if you're not a motor head.  I absolutely loved this movie - it was funny, it was comforting and has a bitter-sweet conclusion that really makes you sit back and take it all it.   Amazing film, I really need to watch this again!


5. Little Women

Speaking of amazing - I guess from here on out they're all great - and this one knocked me on my ass by how good it was.

It was weird, in the way that I get excited for franchise films like Harry Potter, or Star Wars or Marvel - I found myself about 2/3 of the way into this movie, feeling the same way.  All the girls feel like old friends, like they are in stories, either their own or ones written by Jo, that we can return to over and over again and feel like we're home.  Greta Gerwig is quite a talented director, who takes this fairly familiar and straightforward work of literature, and somehow elevates it to a level that enraptures us and makes us feel like we are gearing up for adventure in the same way all the tent-pole movies do.  I don't know how she does it, but she does!   I thought all the girls were well cast - the lead boy however seemed to be a bit too young - but it still all works marvelously.


4. Star Wars: Episode IX (spoilers)

Here's the thing - I love all about this movie, the same stuff that I love about all Star Wars movies.  The excitement, the adventure - the same feeling of family and familiarity that Little Women gives off - I get it from these expertly done big budget genre films.  I love Rey and Finn, and I love seeing what they go through together and how they get there.  I love a LOT about this movie and have already seen it twice and will see it again and again before I die, no doubt.

That said, I would be remiss if I didn't quickly go down what disappointed me about this film.

The little stuff - Rose Tico getting sidelined in favor of a different female character that doesn't really need to exist.  Don't understand it, don't appreciate it.

Ret-conning every little thing; from fixing Kylo's helmet to inexplicably saying that Rey is now related to Palpatine.  Huh?   Really annoying, especially in light of how good Last Jedi was - how unconventional and how game changing it tried to be.  JJ Abrams apparently just goes down the line like a little fan-boy and ticks off each item that he doesn't like.  Sigh.  Ok, not the most creative thing.

I loved Last Jedi, and so it makes me sad that so much time and effort was spent to deliberately undo what Rian Johnson had accomplished.  Rian, who is an auteur and filmmaker as opposed to JJ who apparently is a very talented hired gun who specializes in fan service - is given a great disservice here and so that leads me to my biggest gripe with the whole movie and really the whole Disney approach.

WHY, in the hell, did we not map out this entire trilogy from the beginning?  My understanding is that Abrams and Kasdan turned in the script for Episode 7 and then shot the film with only the barest of outlines for what would happen in episode 8 and literally no plan at all for episode 9.

WHY?  Why is this?

As per the usual suspects - time and money.  Rather than take the time to really go into pre-production and map the whole story out, they rushed to get Force Awakens out in time for a 2015 release.   I really, really don't understand this.   Because you're not going to make BILLIONS of dollars no matter what - you really want to rush this stuff out?   Very irritating.

That said - this movie itself is still in the top half of my top ten for the year.  It was still exhilarating, it was still well more than a thrill and a half.   Lots of humor and heart, plenty to enjoy and appreciate.   Stuff I loved, in no particular order of preference.

Light speed jumping. Rey training. Lando in old Sandcrawler treads.  Rey using force lightning. Rey and Kylo battling across space using Rian's teleport device - so awesome!  Poe and his new Felicity girlfriend who's not really his girlfriend.  Babu Frik. Rey and Kylo's duel in the water.  The return of Han - perfectly done, lump in the throat PERFECT.

Rey and Keylo fighting together and yes - eventually kissing.  It works, it's the one thing that JJ didn't retro-con from Last Jedi.  There was sexual tension in that film, and he follows through with it here - I really dug it and then really felt it when Kylo passed away.  Very well done all the way through.

So really, I loved it - despite my few misgivings.  I'm so grateful that we do have Star Wars episodes 7-9, which I never thought we would have.  As I've said, I love the characters of Rey and Finn & Kylo as well, sure I wish we had gotten deeper into them - but I am grateful for what we did get.  SO much better than the prequels in terms of story and characters.  These are films I will be watching for the rest of my life, no doubt.


3. 1917

I've been super excited for months to see this, having recently watched Peter Jackson's amazing documentary on World War I, it's a conflict that is fascinating to me but I also understand that it was absolutely a senseless war that didn't have to happen, which makes it very tragic as it was so horrific in it's carnage and suffering.

1917 turned out to be oh so much more than I could've hoped.  I heard they were employing the 'gimmick' of one long continuous shot - but when I saw the film, I realized it's more than just that.  The movie is truly all enveloping, because of the never ending shot and also because of the extraordinary surroundings that was the battle field in the first world war.   We are absolutely surrounding by this war - completely immersed in the danger and peril, along for the ride with two young men (boys really) and we suffer with them, we cry with them - we really live what they are living, and dying of course.

Absolutely a modern marvel of filmmaking - I'm happy to see 1917 has gotten a ton of Oscar nods, it really deserves to win all of them.  Eager to give it another watch, especially to pay closer attention to the invisible shot transitions - I started to look for the cut points when I first saw the movie, but quickly was overwhelmed by the story.  Next time through I can relax a bit, knowing how it all ends, and really enjoy the technical feat of the storytelling device.



2. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

Wow, Quinton really outdoes himself with this one.

I've seen this movie three times now, and have enjoyed it more and more each time.

I confess, the first time I watched 'Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood' was by myself in the theater and found myself shifting in my seat quite a bit.  The pacing here is slower than what modern audiences are used to.  But of course that final act just knocked me on my ass, and by the end I knew I had to see this one again.

A dear friend of mine who is not a QT fan, pointed out to me after we saw the film together (I for the second time) that my complaint about the pacing ran contrary to the filmmaker's intention of taking the audience on a nostalgic trip back in time - where the entire point is to SAVOR the atmosphere and the colorful characters from a bygone era.

My friend didn't care for the movie, but he really made a great point - Tarantino wants us to slow down and enjoy Los Angeles in the 1970's, every detail and aroma that he cooks up on screen - and by the time I watched this movie for the third time I was in exactly the right frame of mind to really appreciate all the effort and detail that QT put into this, what I would say is his masterpiece of a film, second only to Pulp Fiction in excellence.

What I loved about the message of the film - as near as I could tell - it is a harkening for a return to masculinity.  That old school, Clint Eastwood / John Wayne - was discarded by the Polanski's and the Scorcese's of the new wave - and it really should've never been that way.   The 70's counterculture saw the old guard as tired and useless - when really, they could've learned a thing or two from the Jack Dalton's of the world.

Sometimes, you really need a cranky old alcoholic to step out with a pitcher of margarita and tell those punk ass kids to shut the fuck up.   Sometimes, you really need a thoroughly masculine stunt man to knock a dirtbag hippie's teeth out - or sic his pit-bull on home invaders who are little more than glorified beatniks with tiny dicks and big mouths.

I love, love, LOVE that QT reclaims Sharon Tate as a strong, vibrant and quintessentially feminine ray of light - and that QT also reclaims and condemns the dirty, smelly, hippy pieces of garbage that the Manson family was.   The final act - OMG - is just so fucking great.  Yes, it's once again another Tarantino revenge film, where this time the revenge is against shitty history that didn't have to be.

If someone like Jack Dalton had been at Sharon's gate - you're damn right those cowardly little shits would've never made it up her driveway.   That's the old school.  That's the virtue and value of real men - for all their faults - they are ultimately what stands-up for the vulnerable and says no to evil.

I could watch this one again and again - and no doubt I will!


1. Avengers: Endgame

Okay, this one I suppose is a bit of a cop-out - but really, I have loved these Marvel Cinematic Movies for over a decade now, going back even before them into my childhood when I was a voracious reader of stories populated with the same characters that now light up the screen - there is really no way I can look at this movie, which is the absolute culmination and payoff to the amazing MCU and not put it at the top of my list.

You can read my entire lengthy review here - but the Cliff notes are; I love these Marvel movies so so SO much; and this Endgame finale is fantastically done, a great movie unto itself that soars with humor, emotions and epic moments - that it is a relatively easy choice for number one, because it really is a great movie but also because it represents all that has come before as well.

So yes, in the way "Return of the King" won all the awards, including best picture, when it arguably wasn't the best of the trilogy (though I have always been of the school that it was) Avengers Endgame also gets top honors from me, because it is GREAT and also because it is the end of this generation of Marvel movies.



And yes, there's still a ton of movies I WANT to see and likely will.  They are...

Jo Jo Rabbit
Parasite
Doctor Sleep
Terminator Dark Fate
IT Chapter 2 - UPDATE - SAW IT!  Enjoyed the humor and the acting a lot - the story itself was good, but it was a long one!
Harriet
Fighting with my Family

Especially looking forward to Jo Jo Rabbit - Taika is the MAN!


And finally - my short list of disappointments...

X-Men: Dark Phoenix
Ugh, what a letdown!  I am the easiest fanboy in the world to please - how, how HOW could they do something like this?  Wait a minute, let me get this straight - it is LITERALLY the same writer as X-Men 3 Last Stand?  That abortion of a movie that butchered the Phoenix Saga?   You literally actually hired the SAME EXACT GUY to write and direct this one?   Um, no.

The movie was really, not good.  No excuse.  Nothing to do here but reboot the X-Men into the MCU.  A real shame because I LOVE all of the other X-Men movies, like actually LOVE all of them with the single exception of X-Men 3 Last Stand, yes, the one written by THE SAME GUY WHO WROTE THIS PIECE OF SHIT.


Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Disappointing not because it was terrible, it wasn't - disappointing because it could've been really good to great - and instead was just BORING and uninspired.  Nothing rubs me the wrong way more than a mediocre film.  I can take it if it's flat out bad, but this was just good enough to really sting because it falls short.


Rocketman
Don't get me wrong, there's lots to like here.  Taron Egerton is bloody brilliant and embodies Sir Elton - and I do enjoy the fantasy musical sequences - BUT - as the child of an alcoholic, I find movies that endlessly harp on alcoholics / addicts - really tough to enjoy.  This movie for the most part is one note, over and over, and that note is addiction.  Addiction sucks - I really don't like being subjected to almost 2 hours of it.  I wanted a lot more lighter moments and a lot more moments of joy.

The Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody, had a really great mix of ups and downs - and even when we were in the darkest times, we could always count on the music lifting us up.  Here, Elton John himself doesn't do the actual singing, and frankly the musical production value (the music itself) really isn't up to snuff.  Elton's music should be POWERFUL and here quite often it's forgetful.  I especially was disappointed in the shot for shot remake of the "I'm Still Standing" video - in real life it is a grainy video taped piece of work but it is thoroughly powerful in emotion - here it just falls flat.

Anyways, didn't hate it by any means, I just wanted more ups and not so many downs - and I wanted to hear the real Elton singing with backing from his real band and producers.  Taron did a great job, but he's not Elton and whoever was tasked on bringing the music to the screen did not bring the wallop that Elton's music usually carries.



So that's it!  I laughed, I cried, I kissed my hard earned cash goodbye!  Except when I managed to snag a screener or two ha ha.

Hope you enjoyed reading what I thought of the movies this year - again, I think overall it was quite an excellent year as far as these things go.

Hopefully I'll write a bit more in 2020 than I did in 2019 - and hopefully there will be plenty more great movies to come!